- I was sitting on the front porch swing, enjoying the
autumn air, when my cell phone rang. I still haven't mastered its complexities,
so instead of pushing whatever the right button is to see who was calling
I did something that always seems to puzzle my kids.
-
- I answered.
-
- And found myself talking to the Old Billionaire.
-
- As usual, he got right to the point.
-
- "Nettie and I won't be making it over to the ranch
for dinner this weekend," the Old Billionaire said. "It's a business
thing."
-
- "Sorry to hear that you're going to miss Gwen the
Beautiful's delicious chicken curry," I said.
-
- "So am I," he said. "But I probably don't
deserve it anyway." And then the Old Billionaire did something unusual
for him. He hesitated, as though fighting against the impulse to tell me
more.
-
- "O.B.?" I said. "You still there?"
-
- His reply took me by surprise. "The last month's
been a disaster. A 10 on the Richter Scale, and I'm thinking it's going
to get worse."
-
- His words rushed out, like the kind of cloudburst we've
been needing around here in Paradise for way too long.
-
- "A couple of weeks ago I learned that Esther, my
personal assistant for 20 years, has been robbing me blind for a dozen
of them. This woman, who knows my moods and habits and general state of
mind better than I do, has embezzled more than $2 million from the company."
-
- "I met Esther," I said. "She seemed really
devoted to you."
-
- "Oh, she was devoted to something, all right. When
I asked her why she did it she got all quiet and looked around the room
and down at the floor like a kid. And then she looked right into my eyes
and said, 'All I took was what I thought I deserved. The money you should've
been paying me all this time.'
-
- "I said, 'Wouldn't it have made more sense to just
ask for a raise?'
-
- "She said, 'Would you have given me a $200,000 a
year raise?'
-
- "She knew what I was going to say, so she went right
on as though I'd said it. 'I didn't think so,' she said. 'And then I'd
have to quit. But I didn't want to quit because I like working for you
so much. So '"
-
- I got the drift. "That had to hurt."
-
- "Not as much as my wife's reaction," said the
Old Billionaire. "I told Nettie right away, and she fixed me with
that screaming stare she can get and said, real sad, 'O.B., did you sleep
with that woman?'
-
- "And then she did the same thing Esther did. Went
on like I'd answered when I hadn't.
-
- "'Never mind,' Nettie said. 'I know you wouldn't
bother with such folderol. Even if maybe-just maybe-that was all she really
wanted.'
-
- "I must've looked really lost then, because Nettie's
eyes softened. She shook her head. 'How did a man as smart as you get to
be as old as you without knowing that you just plain can't give a person
so little and yet trust them so much? Especially if you're not sleeping
together.'
-
- "But that was just the beginning," the Old
Billionaire went on. "Soon as word got out about what'd happened,
my Second-In-Command, the bright boy I've tutored in this business since
he and I first laid eyes on each other, the Harvard grad genius I've been
grooming forever, came riding in with guns a-blazin'. At me.
-
- "'Your behavior is totally irresponsible,' he said.
'And your lack of proper oversight is contemptible. The fact that she could
get away with this for so long proves you're not fit to run this company.
You've lost it, old man. Time to step down and give the reins to me. And
if you don't do it voluntarily, I'll take every legal measure I can.'"
-
- The Old Billionaire stopped himself. After a beat: "So
you see, my friend, I've got my hands full. Instead of filling my belly
at your place I'll be in the office working on damage control."
-
- After we hung up, I went back inside and told Gwen about
the call. "Wait a minute," she said thoughtfully. "His company's
not public, right? Isn't it a family business?"
-
- "That it is," I said.
-
- "Then the Second-In-Command whose guns are a-blazing-
"
-
- "Is his son."
-
- The autumn wind swept over us even though we weren't
outdoors.
-
-
-
- *********************************************************
- Copyright C 2007 by Larry Brody. All rights reserved.
-
- *********************************************************
- Author Larry Brody's weekly column, LIVE! FROM PARADISE!
appears on his website, www.larrybrody.com. He has written thousands of
hours of network television, and is the author of "Television Writing
from the Inside Out" and "Turning Points in Television."
Brody is Creative Director of The Cloud Creek Institute for the Arts, the
world's first in-residence media colony. More about his activities can
be seen on www.tvwriter.com and www.cloudcreek.org. He welcomes your comments
and feedback at <mailto:LarryBrody@cloudcreek.org>LarryBrody@cloudcreek.org.
Brody, his wife and their dogs, cats, horses and chickens live in Marion
County, Arkansas. The other residents of the mythical town of Paradise
reside in his imagination.
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