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- We interrupt our regularly scheduled
column to bring you this important announcement about flashing lights coming
from disposable diapers.
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- If this hadn't happened to a friend of
mine, I would swear it came from the pages of the supermarket tabloids,
right between the articles on alien abductions and weight-loss cures that
involve consumption of live amphibians.
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- The other night my friend, Jill, was
awakened by the cries of her youngest son, 6-month-old Joshua.
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- Jill tucked Baby Joshua into bed next
to her, expecting him to snuggle up and go back to sleep.
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- Then she noticed something strange: "I
saw flashes of light coming from his diaper!"
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- The bright flashes -- six or eight of
them -- reminded her of the flashes from lightning bugs she has often seen
in her home state of Texas.
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- Only this was a long way from Texas:
Jill and her family live on a military base in England.
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- She looked around the room, checking
to see if a ray of light could be reflecting off the snaps of the baby's
jammies.
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- She undressed Joshua, but didn't find
anything out of the ordinary. "By then I was in a lighted room and
didn't see any more flashes," she said.
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- The next morning Jill left a message
with the U.S. diaper manufacturer. Someone from the British division of
the company later called her back and explained that the light flashes
from Joshua's diaper were from a phenomenon called "triboluminescence."
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- It's apparently the same process that
causes Wint-O-Green Lifesavers to throw off sparks when you bite them in
the dark.
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- The company representative told Jill
that triboluminescence is not a common occurrence in their product, but
it does happen. She said it couldn't cause any discomfort to the baby.
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- Then she offered to send Jill a replacement
package of diapers for Joshua (who now has a new family nickname: "Sparky").
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- Jill declined the offer and immediately
set about searching for a cloth diaper service.
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- I had the same thought, but my 6-year-old
son put things in a new light.
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- "It sounds cool," he said.
"It would make it a lot easier to find the baby in the dark."
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- That got me to thinking. Maybe the disposable
diaper manufacturer could put a positive spin on triboluminescence.
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- They could claim triboluminescence is
a special feature. They could create an aggressive marketing campaign around
the phenomenon.
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- "NEW!!! Now with TRIBOLUMINESCENCE!!"
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- It could be the biggest thing in disposables
since re-closeable tabs and leak-proof barriers. And it goes without saying
that they'd charge extra for them.
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- Pretty soon all the disposable diaper
companies will be competing for the triboluminescence dollar: "Our
diapers have 20 percent more triboluminescence than the leading bargain
brand."
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- Like Jill, I'm inclined to switch back
to cloth for my baby, just to be on the safe side. But I'm also tempted
to buy stock in the disposable diaper companies, in case triboluminescent
diapers become even bigger than Wint-O-Green Lifesavers. Just call it hedging
my bets.
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- We will keep you updated with further
developments on flashing diapers. We now return to our regular programming.
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