- How many times have you asked yourself:
What would I do if space aliens showed up at my door?
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- If they came for just a friendly close
encounter, it would be one thing. You could invite them in for cocktails
and a chat. It's the alien abduction thing you want to avoid. Everybody
knows what happens when you're abducted by aliens. They probe your orifices.
Life is difficult enough these days without some alien sticking an instrument,
or whatever, into your ear, or wherever.
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- In her book "How to Defend Yourself
Against Alien Abduction," UFO researcher Ann Druffel delivers what
her title promises. The paperback, just published by Three Rivers Press,
costs $12, a small price for step-by-step instruction in techniques that
will help you resist should aliens come calling.
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- Druffel, who has been researching UFOs
since 1957, looked through 250 case studies and found 70 "resisters,"
people who just said "No!," in a manner of speaking, to alien
abduction. Actually, just saying "No!" is Resistance Technique
No. 3, one of nine described in the book. Druffel calls it Righteous Anger.
It requires assertiveness and a positive attitude on the part of the resister.
Righteous Anger, Druffel writes, "is best combined with strong commands,
either verbal or mental, such as 'Go away!' or 'Leave me alone!' and so
on."
-
- I'm not sure I could pull off Righteous
Anger if aliens were to show up at my house. I can't get my cats off the
kitchen counter by saying "Go away!" so I doubt it would work
on extraterrestrials bent on probing my orifices. Nor do I think I'll be
using Resistance Technique No. 2, Physical Struggle. I wouldn't want to
risk hurting an alien. "The intent should never be to kill or seriously
injure the intruders," Druffel writes, "but to inform them that
their presence is violating the witness's right to privacy."
-
- The problem with this gambit is that
aliens don't appear to understand the concept of privacy. They're forever
showing up unannounced in people's bedrooms in the middle of the night,
and if that's not a violation of privacy I don't know what is. Personally,
I think they could use a short course in etiquette. I bet Miss Manners
could whip them into shape in a hurry.
-
- Of the remaining seven Resistance Techniques
my favorite is No. 9, Repellents. Although I'm not ruling out No. 4, Protective
Rage, or No. 7, Metaphysical Methods, or even No. 5, Support From Family
Members.
-
- You can mix and match Druffel's techniques
to suit yourself and the occasion. For example, you could use a well-known
Alien Repellent like St. John's Wort along with a Metaphysical Method of
resistance, such as envisioning yourself enveloped in a protective bright
white light. And if that's not enough, you could fly into a Protective
Rage "using rejecting statements, even well-chosen curses" against
the intruders. Begone, alien scum!
-
- Druffel writes that most people in the
alien abduction field, abductees and researchers alike, don't believe Resistance
Techniques can be used successfully. Why? Druffel puts it down to lack
of practical experience:
-
- "... it seems almost certain that
most [abductees] have never even tried [resistance] with the necessary
motivation and confidence . ..
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- Clearly then, it's best to be prepared.
Get a copy of 'How to Defend Yourself Against Alien Abduction'. Practice
the Resistance Techniques on telemarketers and cold-call sales people and
anybody else who pops into your life uninvited. You don't want to find
yourself thinking, "Gee, I wish I'd bought that book," as some
big-eyed entity drags you off to the mother ship.
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- This story ran on page E01 of the Boston
Globe on 08/13/98. Copyright 1998 Globe Newspaper Company.
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- ~~~~~~~~~~~~end~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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- Jim Kopf Mt. Airy, Maryland http://www.rjprinting.com/jim
Personal Website http://www.rjprinting.com Work Website http://www.rjprinting.com/realestate
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