By Frosty Wooldridge
6-20-26

It’s that simple. This past “Father’s Day”, all the fathers at my church in Denver stood-up with the female preacher, Michelle Medrano, when she asked fathers to stand.  Loud applause!  Gratitude! Everyone appreciated the understanding as to the challenges of fatherhood in the 21st century! 

But let’s look at the bare-bones of what’s happening in America today as to fathers, families and communities.

I remember during my teaching career when kids broke down in class because their parents filed for a divorce. They instantly suffered loss of “constancy, security, and well-being.”  Of course, if they suffered a violent father, the beatings stopped. The name-calling stopped. The emotional abuse stopped, if they were given to their mothers as to custody. In some cases, the parents were kind, but incompatible with each other.  That happens when people “rush” into marriages too quickly.

Since the seventies, U.S. divorce rates have held steady at 50 to 55 percent for all marriages. When half the kids arrive in our society from divorces, we’re looking at a whole lot of anger, insecurity, confusion and lack of trust.  Little wonder those kids find some kind of community in their cell phones that they stare into 7 hours and 22 minutes daily.

Back in the 1970’s, when we started paying minority women to birth as many children as possible under WIC, ADIC and other monetary incentives—we discovered 7 out of 10 single mothers with no fathers to bring stability to their children.  I’ll never forget when I picked up a copy of the Detroit Free Press 40 years ago to see one woman birthed her 24th child…all by various men. She made a fortune in welfare payments and “free” housing.  At the time, I worked 15 hour days with United Van Lines. My tax dollars paid for her life and her children’s lives. Can you imagine how destructive that welfare became for minority families? Of course, I would not trade places with such insanity or the misery of bringing up 24 children without a father.

Okay, I grew up with a peaceful father and mother.  My dad said, “Education first, sports second.”  He expected that his kids do well in school in order to play sports.  Best choice EVER for my siblings and me.  This society demands you become an educated and critically thinking contributor to America’s ongoing success.  

If you do poorly in high school, you most likely will do poorly in life. Note that 45 million Americans subsist on food stamps. Notice that 770,000 Americans live homeless lives. Note that 42 million Americans cannot read, write or perform simple math problems. It’s called, “Functional Illiteracy.”  In other words, all those people live useless lives, hopeless lives, unfulfilled lives. Also, they do not contribute to our society. They drain it, degrade it, and bankrupt it.

Additionally, the lack of fathers means lack of discipline in homes. Lack of fathers means “role modeling” vanishes for those children in fatherless homes.  Consequences? How about $100 billion in shoplifting in America annually? How’s that for lack of morality, ethics and self-esteem?  Without fathers’ guidance, just go out and steal whatever you want.

Back to my father!  After work, our dad brought us down to the baseball field, basketball court, or gridiron where he taught us to pitch, catch and hit. He taught us to shoot baskets.  He taught us teamwork in football.  He taught us how to play tennis.  He guided us to do our best in athletic competition. He talked about sportsmanship and what it was to respect our opponents on the other teams.  He umpired, and our mother ran the concession stand. Whether we won or lost, he stood by us, supported us, and taught us how to be good men.

While life took him away from our family when I was seventeen, his death could not erase his powerful impact on me becoming a good man.  I’ve worked my whole life to contribute to America like millions of other men and women. We’re the ones that make America successful, peaceful and viable. I’ve said it many times: personal accountability and personal responsibility. If all our citizens abided by those two idea—what a fantastic society we would enjoy.

WE NEED FATHERS TO GUIDE OUR BOYS AND GIRLS 

“On Father’s Day, Americans reflect on the role that fathers play in children's lives, some are warning that a decline in community involvement is leaving young people vulnerable to bad influences. As traditional networks of mentors fade, many children are turning to social media for guidance.

“King Randall, founder of the mentorship organization The X for Boys, and The X for Boys Life Preparatory School in Albany, Ga., believes the problem extends beyond fatherlessness, and lies in the movement away from community. The father and professional mentor, who teaches children through real-world lessons and life skills training, argues that by pulling away from a "village" mentality, social media and technology have been left to fill the void created by absent role models.”

At some point, we need parents go guide their children as to social media.  We need to get cell phones OUT OF SCHOOL CLASSROOMS.  “Living” on a cell phone for 7 hours 22 minutes a day for the average teenager remains one of the worst addictions in the world. It screws up a child’s ability to converse with others, to think on his or her own, to engage in physical activity, eat wholesome foods, and corrupts critical thinking.

“'Without these in-person role models and with busy parents, children and teens are turning to social media for guidance,' according to Randall. 'He said that parents have started using phones, tablets and other devices as "pacifiers" and are ultimately "losing their child" by letting technology raise their kids.'”

We need fathers and mothers to set boundaries for their kids as to cell phone usage. We need to instill self-esteem, self-appreciation and a sense of exploration into our children.  Moms and dads need to communicate, guide and “Shepard” their children toward living productive lives that lead toward a better American society.

One final note as to a successful marriage that launches stable and happy children into this world.  “Are You the One for Me” by Barbara De Angelis is an extraordinary book that shows you whether or not you are compatible for a long-term marriage.  Just answer the questions. She will tell you that you are a good match or you should shake hands now and find another partner.  

Additionally, you might find “How to Deal with 21st Century American Women—Co-Creating a Successful Relationship”  by Frosty Wooldridge—an excellent book on understanding your potential spouse. He encourages every couple to “court” for two years to get to know one another thoroughly. If you’re planning on children, you might live together for one year to see if you are long-term compatible with each other. That’s a 36-month investment that could lead to a lifetime of happiness.  He offers the “Eight Compatibilities” needed for a successful life together. Those two books would lower the divorce rates drastically.

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-- Frosty Wooldridge
Golden, CO
Population-Immigration-Environmental specialist: speaker at colleges, civic clubs, high schools and conferences
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Frosty Wooldridge, six continent world bicycle traveler, Astoria, Oregon to Bar Harbor, Maine, 4,100 miles, 13 states, Canada, summer 2017, 100,000 feet of climbing: