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By Blake Sawyer
http://www.royalvelvetnow.com
12-12-17

Let me see if I have this straight:

The Koran was written by Mohammad.

The Koran says (Surah 33:21) that Mohammad’s life is the standard of conduct for anyone who has hope in Allah.

The Koran says (Surah 4:3) that Muslims are allowed up to 4 wives. Yet Mohammad had 11, or more wives, depending on which ‘expert’ on Mohammad’s life you source. Hmmmmmm? So how DID this happen?

Mohammad “received” a divine revelation that he, and ONLY he, could have as many wives as he wanted. He made sure everyone knew about this divine epiphany, putting it in the Koran in Surah 33:50.

One day, one of Mohammad’s many wives found Mohammad having sex with the slave girl. He promised, actually swore an oath to his wives, that this would stop. But it didn’t. He liked having sex with the slave girl. So how did he ‘get out’ of this jam? Another “divine” revelation. This one, directly from Allah himself.

In Surah 66: 1,2 Allah tells Mohammad that it is OK to break his oath, because, well he is Allah and Mohammad is his prophet and Allah would never deny Mohammad sex with anyone.

Then there is the well-known story of Zaid, Mohammad’s adopted son. He had a gorgeous wife named Zaynab. One day Mohammad went over to visit Zaid and ran into Zaynab. I bet you can already guess what happened with this one. Yep, while Mohammad was wide-eyed gazing upon this voluptuous beauty he had a “divine” revelation.

This one is found in Surah 33:37. It says you are allowed to marry the divorced wives of your adopted sons. And therefore Zaid, being the good adopted son that he was, divorced Zaynab, so Mohammad could marry her.

There are so many more “divine” sexual revelations to tell, but I will end with this one. This is for all of you older women who fear being dumped by your husbands for a more youthful babe.

One of Mohammad’s many wives was named Sauda. The older she got, well, let’s just say the wrinkles appeared and she gained “some” weight. Mohammad was not happy. During the bedding rotation of sleeping with his wives, he dreaded the time with Sauda. He was getting ready to divorce her. (NOTE: The old idioms about wisdom is going to pop up here, so hold on. This does not turn out like you think it would.) If Sauda gets divorced she will have nothing, even LESS than nothing. So Sauda devises a plan. She goes to Mohammad and tells him that if he does not divorce her, she will give him permission to sleep with his favorite (and more attractive) wife, Aisha, during Sauda’s ‘turn’ in bed with Mohammad.

Mohammad couldn’t have been more happy. Nor could Allah. Because this whole scenario is found in the Koran, in Surah 4:128.

Of course, we could have our own divine revelation about this topic. But what could be better than having “God’s” permission to have sex with anyone and everyone you want to, whenever you want to, with God cheering you on? And don’t forget, Allah has 70 virgins waiting for you in Islamic ‘heaven’ to have eternal sex with!

Ahhh, Islam. The religion of divine sex revelations.

Notes to thyself:

Personally, I’ll stick with the teachings of Jesus.

Blake Sawyer is a husband (30+ years), father (of 2 great kids, now adults), solutions-oriented author, podcaster, radio show host and God-fearing Christian. You can listen to his podcast (ESCAPE!) free of charge on iTunes or his radio show (We Are The Truth Seekers) on Rense Radio. You may find his solutions at www.royalvelvetnow.com and www.escapetheusanow.com