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How To Click-Train The Cabal

By Mary W Maxwell, PhD, LLB

Many dog trainers and horse trainers have now switched over from traditional training methods to clicker training. (Amazon sells little hand-held clickers for about $4.00.) Want to teach your dog to heel? Get him to know that the sound of a click is both your approval for his having done it right, and an indication that he will soon get a reward. Children, also, can be trained with clicks, or words or signals that act as a click does.

Karen Pryor explains in her wonderful book, Don’t Shoot the Dog (2002), that positive reinforcement is much more effective than punishment. She shows how you can remove unwanted behaviors in others, “such as your cat climbing on the kitchen table, or your grandmother nagging you,” by reinforcement of the opposite behavior. Pryor worked as dolphin trainer.

I used to traffic in negative reinforcement. Indeed in my recent books, Prosecution for Treason, and Fraud Upon the Court, I have been jumping up and down urging everyone to get into the punishing mode. Is government misbehaving? Go for the jugular. We have plenty of time-tested methods for dealing with official malfeasance. But now I’d like to try a new way.

I suggest positive reinforcement. We can use clickers to train the cabal to better behavior. And they will love it! Note: by “cabal” I mean World Government types, the concealed and rather deluded bozos at the top who run all governments.

With clicks we can make use of cabal members’ psychology, and “train” them to do as we desire. Please assume that they live in a state of apprehension. Granted, their skill at self-deception is pretty remarkable. They regularly boast that they are helping humanity (seriously!), but they are nervous, too.

The fact that they remove whistleblowers from the scene on a regular basis is a good sign of worry and guilt on their part. Logically, it is unimaginable that cabal members are truly confident of their ability to stay in control indefinitely. Face it, they’re only human, poor chaps, and they need our help.

So let’s deploy a bit of clicker training. Reinforce any good behavior they happen to come up with. (Pryor would say that a dog “offers” a good behavior.) For example, one day soon the cabal might abandon the genetically-engineered food track. Hooray! They have offered a good behavior so we give them a click. The sound of the click lets them know they did good. (“Good dog!”) The reward they will subsequently receive could be a nice, delicious tomato. Note: there must be a real reward, not just the click, which Pryor refers to as a “marker.”

Maybe the cabal will offer the behavior of closing down the torture center at Guantanamo. Great! Click. One actual reward that they will subsequently reap is the security of knowing that with no more Gitmo they’ll never find themselves becoming prisoners at Gitmo. Hold the waterboarding!

Oops, I am mixing a punishment theme in there, which Karen Pryor does not like. Dogs, or humans for that matter, can only handle a positive or a negative reinforcement at one time, not both, she says.

OK, try again. The cabal releases the cures for cancer that they have been suppressing since 1920. Click. The reward? We praise them to the skies. Every human wants praise. I’ll bet many cancer patients, who would thus be ex-patients, would even be willing to offer thanks to the cabal for this relief. All humans like to be thanked, right? “

Final example: the cabal puts an end to MK-Ultra mind control, which, believe you me, is still happening out there. No more funny implants in people’s brains, or programming to make them want to commit suicide. Beautiful offer, cabal! Double click! (Pryor doesn’t double click; I made that one up.)

Something that amazed me in Pryor’s book, Don’t Shoot the Dog, and apparently amazed her when she first discovered it, is that a dog or horse gets excited when the click game is open-ended. The thrill of creativity, no doubt. The animal likes to try to think of new things that will bring a positive reinforcement. Like it’s saying What could I do to please you, to get a reward?

You can almost hear the excitement of the cabal members right now as they thinks of new ways to make the world a very happy place to be. Everybody will be dancing and singing. Yay!

In the words of the old spiritual: My Lord, what a morning.


Mary W Maxwell, PhD, LLB, can be reached at her website Her latest book is Consider the Lilies: A Review of 18 Cancer Cures and Their Legal Status (Trine Day Press, Oregon).





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