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Makow - 'Bad Dog! -
A Political Satire

By Henry Makow PhD
A new session of the Seventeenth District Human Rights Tribunal of the Feminist Soviet of Canada is set to begin. Ms. Rutherford- Armstrong is the Prosecutor. The Judge is Madam Chegundi Tsunami, a woman of color. The Defendant is Henry Makow of Winnipeg, white male.
Rutherford-Armstrong: "Mr. Makow-- At 10.25 a.m. on May 22, 2008 at the corner of Maple and Higgins, you were overheard to utter the words, "bad dog" to your pet. How do you plead?"
Makow: "Guilty with an explanation, Madame. "
Rutherford: "And what is your explanation?"
Makow: "I'm trying to teach Raffi not to chase cats. He practically pulls my arm out of its socket. He has pulled me off my bike more than once and broken many retractable leashes."
Rutherford: "The witness, a Ms. Termagant, reported that there was a hint of impatience in your voice. This was confirmed by tapes from a nearby CCTV. Is this true?"
Makow: "Yes, it's possible."
Rutherford: "Do you realize how damaging this is to a dog's self esteem? Demonizing him as "bad"? Withdrawing affection?"
Makow: ""I was just trying to train him. I wasn't angry. I still loved him."
Rutherford: "Mr. Makow, do you have any professional credentials in the field of dog training? Have you read any Feminist theorists?"
Makow: "No."
Rutherford: "Then, you wouldn't know how to train a dog, would you?"
Makow: "Well I think I can figure it out." I do praise him when he obeys."
Rutherford: (shaking her head in disgust) "Your Honor, please note Makow's arrogance, typical of someone who has feasted on the spoils of Patriarchy all his life.
"What makes you think the dog should obey you?"
Makow: "Well he belongs to me."
Rutherford: "How can you 'own' another living being? Isn't that being possessive? Doesn't he have a right to find self fulfillment on his own terms?"
Makow: (speechless) "He's dependent on me now."
Rutherford: "Your Honor, we've had other reports of Makow leaving his dog outside a supermarket. The dog jumps up on him when he emerges but Makow scolds his dog for this. This causes stress and self-doubt in the animal."
Makow: "Raffi has sharp claws and scratches me. I know his intentions are good and I ward him off as gently as possible."
Rutherford: "But you are rejecting him, nonetheless?"
Makow: "Don't men have any rights? 'When a white male is cut, does he not bleed?'"
Judge Chegundi-Tsunami: "That's enough facetiousness. I won't warn you again. You will be held in Contempt."
Rutherford: "Your Honor, Makow is exhibiting the abusiveness characteristic of all white males.
"The pattern of white man-dog inequality is the original model for all abuse throughout history. It is responsible for imperialism. By making an example of Makow, we can end imperialism."
Judge Chegundi Tsunami: "I am in complete agreement. Makow is interfering with the dog's natural instinct to chase cats. The reprehensible tendency of white men to interfere with Nature is responsible for war and the depredation of the environment, global warming as well as the oppression of Jews, women, children, homosexuals, people of color, and animals.
"Mr. Makow, you'll have time in jail to ponder the effect of Patriarchy on your character. Thankfully, Patriarchy is dead and you are just a hoary anachronism. Your kind will be extinct in a few more years and mankind can enter a period of peace and harmony.
"I sentence you to 30 days in jail, and fine you $500 for abusing an animal. Also, you must take a six-month Anger Management Course. I hope you will think twice before saying "bad dog" again.
"As a ward of the State, Raffi will be raised by professionals. Mr.Makow, do you have anything to say?"
Makow: "This isn't about protecting minorities or women is it? It's not about dogs either. It's about training white males."
Chegundi Tsunami: "Be careful what you say, Mr. Makow. I'm warning you! Bad man! Bad man!" -----
Henry Makow Ph.D. is the author of "Cruel Hoax: Feminism and the New World Order." (www.cruelhoax.ca) His articles can be found at his web site www.henrymakow.com He enjoys receiving your comments, some of which he posts on his site using first names only. hmakow@gmail.com
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