- You can't wait to go out to dinner with your wife to
celebrate 35 years of marriage together. It's a very special moment for
both of you. It's a moment you planned for days, perhaps even weeks. Children
are long gone from the nest, and it's just you and her again. Both of you
begin to reminisce about the many past years. But lurking over in a corner
is your yet-unknown "waiter" or "waitress."
-
- Oops I think they are called "servers"
now. (Isn't that the name for a mindless computer dedicated to hosting
websites and shoveling email?) Together, you open your oversize menus looking
for something that you can stand to eat. Perhaps the giant format is intended
to make the high prices look smaller. And of course, you want something
that you recognize so you'll know it might be edible. Oh you are
Lactose-intolerant? Better avoid Shrimp Scampi and Lasagna dishes or you
will suffer all night long.
-
- Upon seeing one of you put your menu down, the server
comes swooping in, pen in one hand and a dog-eared order pad in the other
sometimes decorated with real samples of yesterday's menu items. "May
I help you?" the server asks. This is where the first mistake is always
made, but you instinctively utter "yes" and proceed to tell him
your selections. Thirty minutes later, he returns and says "We're
all out of that." What else would you like? You had just spent about
10 minutes of your lifetime pondering what you would order. You didn't
have a backup item in mind, nor should you have to. So you strain to look
for a second-option.
-
- Another thirty minutes later, your orders finally arrive.
The plates hit the table, you're warned "they are hot" (but are
not) and before you can check out what was delivered, your Houdini-server
has vanished. Even worse, one of the orders is completely wrong and wasn't
the dish you ordered at all.
-
- After another 3-5 minutes of waiting for the "server"
to make an encore appearance within 30ft. of your table, you flag him down
with waving arms and he saunters back to your table. Now it's time to start
the waiting game all over again. And forget about that movie you wanted
to see together now it's too late. So much for the best laid plans
of men and time out on the town. And no apologies are to be heard, sometimes
even if you dispute the bill. Still believe in the adage "the customer
is always right?" Not on planet Earth anymore.
-
- Last year my wife was out looking for a new sewing machine.
I took her to China-mart against my better judgment and the nauseous feeling
in the pit of my stomach. It was less than 15 minutes before I knew beyond
a shadow of a doubt, that my stomach was right yet again. She saw a nice
Singer sewing machine she wanted, but wasn't quite sure it was the right
one. Of course, in China-mart you are supposed to "trust" that
everything they sell will work well. Notice I didn't say that "Everything
they sell is the best." A sales assistant (read that as a "5-minute-trained-droid")
came over only after I went and tracked her down. She was not paying
any attention to those looking around in her dept.
-
- My wife said to her, "I'm interested in this model,
and would like to see how it sews and if it's easy to thread." No
AC power was available on the shelf where all the "demo" models
were displayed, about 8 of them. What was the droid's response? "Well,
what you see is what you get. If you want, you can take it over to customer
service and open it up and try it there. Or, if you get it home and you
don't like it, then bring it back." Then she turned her back and walked
away. And customer service was about 200ft. away. Every sentence from her
was like an order, with a generous sprinkling of the word "you"
and not one utterance of the letter "I."
-
- My blood reached 211.99 degrees in less than 10 seconds.
And so did my wife's blood. She tracked down the store manager and told
her about the rudeness. As expected, the store manager apologized profusely
and said she would speak to the "associate" in the sewing dept.
after we gave her an APB description of the droid. My wife told her point
blank that "the sales associate should be the one to apologize, not
the store manager." As we walked away, I told my wife that not a single
WORD of what we discussed would ever be told to the sewing dept. droid.
She wasn't quite sure of that until she looked back and saw the store
manager going in the opposite direction of the sewing dept.
-
- What's so important about apologies? If you ask that
question, then most likely you're not someone who ever apologizes. Apologies
are good for the soul, bond and repair relationships and clear up problems.
When you owe someone an apology and procrastinate doing it, it will eat
away at the soul. We've all been there. Even worse is when the person you
owe and apology to suddenly dies. Case will be closed, but not necessarily
forgotten. I apologize here and now for every word I said about the dictator,
even though every word is true.
-
- Stores and restaurants are just two examples. Without
a doubt, you too, have had your share of rudeness that's a 10+ on the Richter-Nasty
scale. Banks and utility companies must be in secret competition with each
other for the NRA that is, the National Rudeness Award. I for one
am purely sickened by the state of society today. It's enough to make you
want to grab some of these people and smack some sense into them good and
proper. Problem is no sense, no feeling.
-
- MANNERS WHY ARE THEY NEEDED?
-
- If children aren't trained in the home to be polite and
respectful of others, how can we ever hope they will respect themselves
and do well in life? We are obligated to teach them correctly, and what
they do with it later in life is up to them when they leave the nest. I've
probably already dated myself by my "old-fashioned expressions."
So be it. Back in the 1960's in America, at least in New York state
elementary school gym class there were lessons in MANNERS and etiquette.
Yes, MANNERS.
-
- Some of the many lessons were how to shake a LADY'S hand
(a lady is a vanishing breed of female, which should be on the top of the
endangered list.) You were also taught how to do basic dance lessons, to
take your hat off whenever indoors, to hold a door open for a lady and
more. At the time they seemed funny to immature children- but paid off
later in life. I'm sure all training in manners in public schools was discontinued
several decades ago. Is this old fashioned thinking? By today's standard,
perhaps it is.
-
- But showing respect for others is a basic requirement
for any civilized society. Without basic respect all human interactions
will be uncivilized. There are plenty of examples of this today throughout
the world. If I list any examples, a nit-picker reader out there will write
me some long-winded email just to tell me I'm a racist. Therefore, I leave
it to the reader to ponder where these places are throughout the world.
-
- We can make a difference with very little effort.
-
- Let's start today!
-
- Ted Twietmeyer
- www.data4science.net
- tedtw@frontiernet.net
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