- Back when I lived in L.A., I used to hang with a guy
named Bob Wall.
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- To most people, Bob was a successful real estate developer,
a builder of nursing homes and shopping malls. But that was just a cover-up.
His secret identity.
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- In "real" life, Bob was a martial artist supreme.
Best friend and former bodyguard to Chuck Norris. Founder of one of the
first professional kickboxing leagues. Buddy of Bruce Lee and big, bearded,
scarred, biker villain in no less a film than "Enter The Dragon."
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- One of Bob's closest friends was kickboxing champion
Benny the Jet Urquidez, a wrong side of the tracks dude so tough that he
traveled all around the world fighting every country's champion in that
champion's style and beating him, and so heroically right that he was the
hero of a Japanese comic book.
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- Another of Bob's buds was Benny's brother-in-law, Blinky
Rodriquez, also a kickboxing champion and hero in his own right: He holds
the United Nations Medaille d'Excellence for his work brokering a peace
treaty between 75 different Southern California gangs.
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- Being anywhere with these three men was like being in
the company of superheroes. You knew you were safe. You knew that whatever
went down, Bob or Benny or Blinky would handle it, and handle it in a way
that would make everyone see what wusses most film and television action
heroes really were.
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- To me, Blinky was the most interesting of the trio. Because
he was the most open and honest about himself.
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- I still remember, vividly, the time I was at a championship
match and saw Blinky backstage. I went over to say hi, but he walked right
past me. Surprised, I called after him.
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- "Hey, Blinky!" I said. "It's me, Larry
B. Bob's friend. Remember?"
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- Blinky stopped. Turned back to me. His eyes blinked.
A look of recognition came to his face. "Larry! Larry! How are you?"
We did the manly hug thing. "Oh, man," Blinky said. "I'm
sorry. Didn't mean to diss you - "
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- And then he went on, with the words that still stand
out in my mind:
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- "It's just you know how it is," Blinky said.
"Even when you win you get kicked in the head."
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- The reason this comes to mind now has to do with what
I wrote here last week. I was talking about our new horse, Rosie, and how
Burl Sr., the Farmer of the Year, took one look at her and said, "That
little mare's in foal."
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- Since then, being a good city boy who's never really
certain that what he's doing for his animals is right, I've had J.L. the
Horse Vet out here to have a look at Rosie so that if she is pregnant I
can learn what kind of care she needs and give it to her properly.
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- My head was in what I thought of as "Larry B Learns
Equine Pre-Natal Care Mode." I figured it would be cut-and-dried.
Feed Rosie this. Supplement her food with that. Worry if you see X. Smile
if you see Y.
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- There was only one problem.
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- J.L. didn't agree with Burl Sr.'s diagnosis.
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- "I don't think she's with foal," he said. "I
think more likely she's got a delicate structure - all Arabian horses do
- and the round belly could mean either that she's filling out because
she's getting the kind of alfalfa and grain that she couldn't before, or
because she needs worming. Or both."
-
- "Did you say Arabian?" I said. "She didn't
come with any papers saying she's an Arabian."
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- "And she may not be 100 percent. But you can see
it in her conformation. That head. The rib cage. The shape of her hips.
Even if you haven't gotten two for the price of one like Burl Sr. said,
you got a good deal. Because you got a very fine horse."
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- Like the man said in "Cool Hand Luke," "There
we have it." One experienced old hand says Rosie's pregnant. Another
experienced horseman, who I trust with the lives of my stock, says no.
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- Like Bob and Benny and Blinky, each of these fine gentleman
is a champion in this field. But one of them isn't seeing what's there.
It's walking right by.
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- J.L.'s right about one thing for sure though. I got more
than I thought. So either way, I come out ahead.
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- Which is better than being kicked in it, that's for sure.
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- Copyright C 2007 by Larry Brody. All rights reserved.
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- Author Larry Brody's weekly column, LIVE! FROM PARADISE!
appears on his website, www.larrybrody.com. He has written thousands of
hours of network television, and is the author of "Television Writing
from the Inside Out" and "Turning Points in Television."
Brody is Creative Director of The Cloud Creek Institute for the Arts, the
world's first in-residence media colony. More about his activities can
be seen on www.tvwriter.com and www.cloudcreek.org. He welcomes your comments
and feedback at LarryBrody@cloudcreek.org. Brody, his wife and their dogs,
cats, horses and chickens live in Marion County, Arkansas. The other residents
of the mythical town of Paradise reside in his imagination.
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