Patriotic Iraqis celebrated the four year liberation of Baghdad over the weekend. Thousands of jubilant citizens commemorated the valiant, and continuous, US liberation of oil-rich Iraq by waving flags and honking horns.

"We wrap ourselves in the Iraq flag," said shopkeeper Mufti al Arabi, "to thank Allah we are alive to witness this glorious liberation."

The oil rich land, once ruled by a bloodthirsty despot who openly planned to sell oil in foreign currency, fell suddenly after the terrible dictator mentioned oil and euro in the same sentence.

"Had Saddam carried out his vile plan," said Federal Reserve spokeman, Jerome "Jerry" Goldman, "Our cartel of supplying paper US dollars to US citizens at a profit might have been threatened. Thankfully, Saddam was toppled when he was."

"Yes, Thankfully Saddam is gone," said US Army Major General Frank Abraham, speaking frankly. "You see; I'd like to retire with three stars. I've only got two stars now but if I stay here in the Green Zone for eight more months, I can retire with three and then become a highly-paid defense consultant."

By seeing the big picture, war proponents claim, we can understand WHY it is necessary to remain in Iraq forever. Or at least until the oil runs out in fifty or a hundred years.

Rosy Forecast?

"Things are coming along very nicely," agreed Devlin Cockerham, Halliburton Vice-President, surrounded by the din and dust of heavy equipment in downtown Baghdad. Standing beneath a pair of busy cranes in the Green Zone, Cockerham looked around and observed. "In another ten or twenty years, you won't recognize this place. You'll see a lot more permanent structures, maybe even some corporate headquarters here."

Foreman Dale Whitaker, of Houston, agreed. "We're standing at the hub of Oil City, USA. Sure it looks like a construction site now but just you wait! When we're done building here, all the oil traffic in the Middle east will be funneled and controlled from right here."

"It will be like the Vatican City, except bigger and better armed," added Republican Congressman (SC), Herbert Graham on a fact-finding junket that would take him to nearby Bangkok, Thailand. "But instead of one pope calling the shots, all the decisions will be made by the popes of petroleum."

US Analysts have long noted the overwhelming need for cheap oil supplies while propping up the US dollar, while simultaneously filling the pockets of special interests, while at the same time, exercising the US military in real time war scenarios. No place else in the world fits all those qualifications as does Iraq.

"If Iraq didn't exist, we'd have to invent it," said Exxon insider, Ebenezer Marley. "We live in amazing times, at the crossroads of opportunity and advantage. Most of the world's crude oil lies right here and since we Americans use most of the world's oil, we're in the right place at the right time. At least, I know I am."

Members at the prestigious Council on Foreign Relations (CFR) who spoke on record, agreed with Marley.

James Whitehurst, longtime member of CFR, said: "We had hoped for a capitulation of the Iraqi people before now, in order to fully open the spigots, but with a few more surges over the next decade or two, we should subjugate, I mean consolidate Iraq, into our sphere of influence."

Architect and site foreman Whitaker agreed. "By 2020, Iraq will resemble east Texas, and that's no hindsight, that's a promise."

Many members of CFR share the same level-headed optimism. "My portfolio is heavy with Iraq investments," Said Richard C. Foulwell. "Once we have divested the country of those few dead-enders living there, I expect trillions in rewards to the risk takers like ourselves."

"Dead-enders," a term long embraced by many council members, was often uttered by CFR favorites, Don Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney, to describe anyone not on board the CFR gravy train.

Like increasing members of the US military, patrolling oil-rich Iraq. Like Private First Class, Marcus Cranwell. PFC Cranwell wasn't always so uncertain, however. "But nowadays, nobody in my platoon is sure what are mission is here in Iraq."

PFC Cranwell then added, more than a little chagrined: " This is my third rotation here in Iraq, and maybe by the fourth or fifth, or even sixth tour of duty, I'll understand what I'm doing here."

Cranwell, like many in his platoon, were swayed by promises of government funds for college education. Most, if not all recruits like Cranwell, failed to see the big picture: how their presence in the oil-rich land bolsters the salient image of liberation and security back home in oil-poor America.

"All the Cranwells in America need to continue doing their small part forever," said CFR members Foulwell and Whitehurst, "While we do ours. That's what makes American so great; we all do our patriotic part."

Thankfully, the few naysayer like Cranwell fail to sway the optimism of most knowledgeable people back home in America. In Washington DC and New York City, the only two cities in America that really matter, the image of Iraq is that liberation, and hence occupation, will require centuries.

"Rome wasn't built in a day, " said Republican Senator Clancy McClain. "Rome needed centuries to subjugate their empire and we're no different than Rome. We're making good progress and I fully expect, by the end of the century we'll have fully liberated and peacefulized the peoples of Iraq."

Recently the Arizona senator toured the neighborhood nearest the Green Zone and came away impressed.

"I was impressed with the peacefulness of the marketplace," said McClain. "If you hadn't told me otherwise, I would have mistaken it for a flea market in downtown Phoenix."

Later McClain returned to the bustling Green Zone, accompanied by a convoy of fellow shoppers in Bradley Fighting Vehicles and bargain hunters in their heavily armed Blackhawk helicopters. Those interviewed agreed the downtown Baghdad marketplace was peaceful at all times, right up to the moment they left it.

"I got me five carpets for five dollars," said Republican Congressman, Conan Spense, from Indiana. "If that ain't progress I don't know what is."

However, reports later that day, since confirmed, claimed 22 bargain hunters were missing and presumed tortured and killed, abducted from the same marketplace. Skeptics interviewed in the Green Zone, however, claimed the incident was either an unfortunate coincidence, freak accident or liberal propaganda.

Liberal Conservative Compassionate Satirist, Douglas Herman writes for Rense regularly. Email douglasherman7@yahoo.com