 BOSTON Massachusetts
was sucked into a whirlwind of widespread panic and confusion yesterday
when several IED ... wait, make that LED devices... were
found menacingly lurking throughout the city.
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- These lightbrite-esque devices depicted images of two
terrorist suspects thrusting their middle fingers, or "birds",
directly in the faces of local authorities. These two agents of terror,
known as "Ignignokt" and "Errr", were later found to
be characters from the Adult Swim program "Aqua Teen Hunger Force".
Authorities discovered after blowing up two (?) of these devices that they
were not, in fact, explosive in nature. However, feeling that these first
two devices could have simply been diversions, they were forced to maintain
the city's state of mass terror and continue to investigate.
-
 I believe its safe to say that from a
public relations standpoint, this is a first. At least I can't recall the
last time that the President of The United States himself was interrupted
by what was basically an advertisement for a cartoon movie about anthropomorphic
fast food. Whether this was some sick, calculated attempt to twist the
minds of an entire nation into submission, or simply the ultimate happy
accident, we may never be sure. But the fact is, for $750,000 (the estimated
cost of damages incurred), Adult Swim couldn't have financed a more effective
campaign.
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- Meatwad, one of the strange cartoon characters
from
Adult Swim's "Aqua Teen Hunger Force"
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- Drowning in ridiculous panic, city officials as well
as Homeland Stupidity made blunder after blunder, escalating a non-event
into a complete city-wide terrorist threat, even shutting down the Charles
river over something which had been going on openly in New York, Los Angeles,
Chicago, Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, Austin, San Francisco and Philadelphia
without incident! The light-up characters only seemed to send Bostonian
authorities into a blind panic. It appears that early-on someone remarked
that the found items under bridges were "IED" devices. Whatever
idiot blurted that over the walkie-talkies likely started the essential
panic, when they meant to say LED -- Light Emitting Diode.
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- Peter Berdovsky of Arlington and Sean Stevens of Charlestown
were arrested last night and charged with placing a hoax device and disorderly
conduct, based on a recently enacted statute making it a crime to place
a hoax device that results in panic. This is, of course, patently absurd
since the devices were well understood and recognized in 9 other major
cities as some kind of promotional light display, and not a "hoax"
of any sort. There was no attempt whatsoever to make the Mooninite "LED"
sign look like a bomb. A shattered pocket calculator would probably pass
for a suspect bomb to these local yahoos.
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-
"I hope they can feel this, becasue I'm
doing it as hard as I can..." - Ignignokt
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- Turner Broadcasting, a division of Time Warner Inc. (parent
of Cartoon Network), later said the devices were part of a promotion for
the TV show "Aqua Teen Hunger Force," an irreverent, wacky, anti-social
cartoon series about a talking milkshake, a box of French fries and a meatball
who fight crime and mediocrity (when they are not busy creating either).
Mooninites are side line characters in the cartoon who often invade earth
and persuade the Aqua Teen gang into doing mischief. The characters Ignignokt
and Err (Err is less a name than it is a moan of anger, Errrrr!) can be
found on T-shirts and plastered on billboards nationwide. But in Boston,
their rude flipping of the bird, a specialty of the characters, was regarded
as a direct affront to authorities, a terrorist taunt, if you will.
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- Turner Co. may still face charges in all this when all
the dust settles.
Some Mooninite sympathizers have claimed that the entire event was simply
a misunderstanding caused by a generation gap, and that the orchestraters
of this pandemonium meant no harm. The fact that many internet Bloggers
had already known about and realized the true nature of these devices long
before authorities and news reporters is one flimsy argument they insist
upon. However, expecting the media to give any credence to or even be aware
of the nonsensical babbling of internet Bloggers is clearly ridiculous,
and would have in no way helped the situation.
update: One of the LED signs WAS up for sale on ebay sporting a bid of $910 at the time of this
writing. Ebay has removed the item. Are they afraid it might blow up? Click
here
for a screen snap of the auction item
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- Aqua Teen
Hunger Force... "#1 in the hood, G!!"
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