- WASHINGTON -- Rave reviews
are pouring in for superstar "comic" Laura Bush after she stole
the show at a press gala by confessing she's a "desperate
whose hubby goes to bed too early.
- "I said to him the other day, 'George, if you really
want to end tyranny in this world, you're going to have to stay up
Mrs. Bush told the annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner
- "At 9 o'clock, Mr. Exciting here is sound asleep
and I'm watching 'Desperate Housewives' - with Lynne Cheney. Ladies and
gentlemen, I am a desperate housewife."
- The first lady, who got standing ovations, also ribbed
the president's Texas ranching skills:
- "He's learned a lot about ranching since that first
year when he tried to milk a horse -- a male horse."
- Standard practice at the gala is for the president to
rib himself and he began by saying he always enjoys dinners "where
I'm supposed to be funny - intentionally."
- When Mrs. Bush grabbed the mike, she quipped,
always says he's delighted to come to these press dinners. Baloney! He's
usually in bed by now."
- Mrs. Bush joked that as a desperate housewife, she's
had to find ways to amuse herself - such as going to Chippendale's, where
partying bachelorettes shower male strippers with greenbacks.
- She claimed she went with Vice President Dick Cheney's
wife plus top Bush aide Karen Hughes and Secretary of State Condoleezza
- "I wouldn't even mention it, except [Supreme Court
Justices] Ruth Ginsburg and Sandra O'Connor saw us there," Mrs. Bush
- She also joked about how different she and her husband
are: "I can pronounce nuclear."
- She had fun with her husband's love of chopping brush,
saying the Bush twins, Jenna and Barbara, call it " 'The Texas
- The Texas air tends to invigorate people, she added,
kidding the vice president -- sitting just a few seats away -- by saying
she saw him go on "a brisk 20- to 30- [comic pause] foot
- Mrs. Bush quipped about her mother-in-law, former First
Lady Barbara Bush:
- "People think she's a sweet grandmotherly Aunt Bee.
She's actually more like [Godfather] Don Corleone."
- She dissed the senior Bushes' vacation base in
Maine, by saying it's like hers and the president's ranch town of Crawford,
Texas - "without the night life."
- The first lady also joked that she must have been
to meet her husband, who wasn't exactly a scholar in school, because
was the librarian who spent 12 hours a day in the library - yet, somehow,
I met George."
- "She was great, from beginning to end," said
Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.), at the big Bloomberg News after-party that
went into the wee hours following the Saturday night dinner.
- Super-pundit John McLaughlin ("The McLaughlin
called it the best material he'd heard at the dinner in 30 years, and
it will help soften her husband's image.
- Liberal comic Al Franken, now mulling a Senate run from
Minnesota, said it was great, and added enviously that he'd have gotten
clobbered if he'd dared to tell Mrs. Bush's horse-milking joke.
- Mrs. Bush's press secretary, Susan Whitson, said it was
the president's idea to have his wife take over - but he didn't know his
wife's lines in advance.
- "Those of use who work with Mrs. Bush know how funny
and clever she is but this is the first time the rest of the world saw
it," said Whitson who admitted Mrs. Bush "is one of the few
who could have gotten away with some of those jokes."
- Her comic routine was written by Landon Parvin, a veteran
speechwriter who worked for Ronald Reagan, Bush's father and, at times,
the current president.
- The first lady ended on a more serious note by stressing
how much she loves her husband and his family - and how Jenna and Barbara
adore their dad.
- She wore a shimmering Oscar de la Renta gown to the
which mixes Hollywood glitz and politics.
- Jane Fonda, Mary Tyler Moore and Super Bowl quarterbacks
Tom Brady and Donovan McNabb were guests.
- From Noble Eagle
- First of all I just want to make a couple of
- 1.) Laura Admits she is a 'Desperate Housewife.'
- 2.) Laura Jokes that George likes to Milk "Male
- What better way to obfuscate image problems and soften
them than to bring in a veteran Presidential speech writer to make jokes
- We all know the Bushs Love to talk in Code and flaunt
their sexual deviency.
- Laura also states that she was just sitting in a room
with Lynne Cheney watching Desperate Housewives.
- Did you know Lynee Cheney wrote a Hot Steamy, Lesbian,
Erotic Novel? It's True. Ms. Right, wrote a erotic lesbian novel. So much
for Christian Values.
- SEE EXCERPTS FROM LYNEE CHENEYS LESBIAN NOVEL
- Please connect the Dots about Bush's Flaunting his
Tendencies. Bush Likes Bald Men. Bush Likes to hold hands of Oil
What about all those unscripted Bush quips about nice looking guys? What
about Gay Splash Day?
- Connect The Dots: NWO secret cults, owl worship, Jeff
Gannon, bald men, Bush and male horses, Victor Ashe, etc, etc... For more
of the Bush deviancies, go here: