Laura Bush - Confessions Of
A Desperate Housewife
By Deborah Orin
NY Post
WASHINGTON -- Rave reviews are pouring in for superstar "comic" Laura Bush after she stole the show at a press gala by confessing she's a "desperate housewife" whose hubby goes to bed too early.
"I said to him the other day, 'George, if you really want to end tyranny in this world, you're going to have to stay up later,'" Mrs. Bush told the annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner Saturday.
"At 9 o'clock, Mr. Exciting here is sound asleep and I'm watching 'Desperate Housewives' - with Lynne Cheney. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a desperate housewife."
The first lady, who got standing ovations, also ribbed the president's Texas ranching skills:
"He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk a horse -- a male horse."
Standard practice at the gala is for the president to rib himself and he began by saying he always enjoys dinners "where I'm supposed to be funny - intentionally."
When Mrs. Bush grabbed the mike, she quipped, "George always says he's delighted to come to these press dinners. Baloney! He's usually in bed by now."
Mrs. Bush joked that as a desperate housewife, she's had to find ways to amuse herself - such as going to Chippendale's, where partying bachelorettes shower male strippers with greenbacks.
She claimed she went with Vice President Dick Cheney's wife plus top Bush aide Karen Hughes and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.
"I wouldn't even mention it, except [Supreme Court Justices] Ruth Ginsburg and Sandra O'Connor saw us there," Mrs. Bush said.
She also joked about how different she and her husband are: "I can pronounce nuclear."
She had fun with her husband's love of chopping brush, saying the Bush twins, Jenna and Barbara, call it " 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.' "
The Texas air tends to invigorate people, she added, kidding the vice president -- sitting just a few seats away -- by saying she saw him go on "a brisk 20- to 30- [comic pause] foot walk."
Mrs. Bush quipped about her mother-in-law, former First Lady Barbara Bush:
"People think she's a sweet grandmotherly Aunt Bee. She's actually more like [Godfather] Don Corleone."
She dissed the senior Bushes' vacation base in Kennebunkport, Maine, by saying it's like hers and the president's ranch town of Crawford, Texas - "without the night life."
The first lady also joked that she must have been destined to meet her husband, who wasn't exactly a scholar in school, because "I was the librarian who spent 12 hours a day in the library - yet, somehow, I met George."
"She was great, from beginning to end," said Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.), at the big Bloomberg News after-party that went into the wee hours following the Saturday night dinner.
Super-pundit John McLaughlin ("The McLaughlin Group") called it the best material he'd heard at the dinner in 30 years, and predicted it will help soften her husband's image.
Liberal comic Al Franken, now mulling a Senate run from Minnesota, said it was great, and added enviously that he'd have gotten clobbered if he'd dared to tell Mrs. Bush's horse-milking joke.
Mrs. Bush's press secretary, Susan Whitson, said it was the president's idea to have his wife take over - but he didn't know his wife's lines in advance.
"Those of use who work with Mrs. Bush know how funny and clever she is but this is the first time the rest of the world saw it," said Whitson who admitted Mrs. Bush "is one of the few people who could have gotten away with some of those jokes."
Her comic routine was written by Landon Parvin, a veteran speechwriter who worked for Ronald Reagan, Bush's father and, at times, the current president.
The first lady ended on a more serious note by stressing how much she loves her husband and his family - and how Jenna and Barbara adore their dad.
She wore a shimmering Oscar de la Renta gown to the dinner, which mixes Hollywood glitz and politics.
Jane Fonda, Mary Tyler Moore and Super Bowl quarterbacks Tom Brady and Donovan McNabb were guests.
From Noble Eagle
First of all I just want to make a couple of comments.
1.) Laura Admits she is a 'Desperate Housewife.'
2.) Laura Jokes that George likes to Milk "Male Horses"
What better way to obfuscate image problems and soften them than to bring in a veteran Presidential speech writer to make jokes about them?
We all know the Bushs Love to talk in Code and flaunt their sexual deviency.
Laura also states that she was just sitting in a room with Lynne Cheney watching Desperate Housewives.
Did you know Lynee Cheney wrote a Hot Steamy, Lesbian, Erotic Novel? It's True. Ms. Right, wrote a erotic lesbian novel. So much for Christian Values.
Please connect the Dots about Bush's Flaunting his Homosexual Tendencies. Bush Likes Bald Men. Bush Likes to hold hands of Oil Dictators. What about all those unscripted Bush quips about nice looking guys? What about Gay Splash Day?
Connect The Dots: NWO secret cults, owl worship, Jeff Gannon, bald men, Bush and male horses, Victor Ashe, etc, etc... For more of the Bush deviancies, go here:



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