- 1. When Arnold Schwarzenegger announced his
- gubernatorial candidacy on "The Tonight Show,"
what
- did he say was the only decision in his life that was
- more difficult?
-
-
-
- a) Deciding to come clean about his use of steroids in
- the 1970s
- b) Deciding to get a bikini wax in 1978
- c) Deciding to stop having group sex in 1980s
- d) Deciding to support the campaign of Austrian
- president and former Nazi Kurt Waldheim in 1986
- e) Deciding to risk his life to free the people of
- Mars in 2084
-
-
- 2. Match the quotation with the person who said it:
-
-
-
- A. "I'd win in a landslide if weird people voted."
- B. "Unlike Gray Davis, I am not paralyzed from the
- neck up."
- C. "I think that gay marriage should be between
a man
- and a woman."
- D. "I'm the master of low expectations."
- E. "Any time you've got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks
- against you, you're not long for the White House."
-
-
- 1) George W. Bush
- 2) Jerry Springer
- 3) Arnold Schwarzenegger
- 4) Michael Moore
- 5) Larry Flynt
-
-
-
- 3. President Bush inspired a toy manufacturer to
- create what product?
-
-
-
- a) A special edition of Monopoly featuring Bush's top
- corporate contributors
- b) A special edition of Scrabble featuring Bush's
- special words
- c) An "Elite Force Aviator" doll to commemorate
Bush's
- landing on the aircraft carrier Lincoln
- d) A "nation-building" LEGO starter kit to
commemorate
- Bush's preemptive war doctrine
-
-
- 4. At a campaign stop, Howard Dean described himself
- as a "metrosexual." According to Dean, what
is that?
-
-
-
- a) A straight guy who has had a "Queer Eye"
makeover
- b) A guy with a confederate flag in his pickup truck
- c) A gay person who likes to ride the subway
- d) He admitted he didn't know what the term means
-
-
- 5. During the California recall campaign, Gray Davis
- said his vision was for California to become a state
- that would be home to:
-
-
-
- a) "People from every planet on the Earth"
- b) "The Gray Davis Presidential Library"
- c) "A great Austrian-born dictator"
- d) "Fewer people who hate me"
-
-
- 6. Which statement about the following Democratic
- presidential candidates is false?
-
-
-
- a) Dennis Kucinich agreed to go on a date with a woman
- who won an Internet contest titled "Who Wants to
Be a
- First Lady?"
- b) While in his hometown of St. Louis, Dick Gephardt
- was asked to settle a bet between two women wondering
- whether he was a CNN weatherman or Dan Quayle
- c) Asked during a debate to address voter concerns
- that he is aloof, John Kerry said, "Probably I ought
- to disappear and contemplate that by myself"
- d) Speaking in New Hampshire, Wesley Clark said he
- hadn't ruled out the possibility of interstellar space
- travel
- e) After failing to win Al Gore's endorsement, Joe
- Lieberman suffered another embarrassment when his own
- rabbi endorsed Howard Dean
-
-
- 7. Part of a document presented by British Prime
- Minister Tony Blair as proof of an imminent threat
- posed by Iraq, and cited by Secretary of State Colin
- Powell in his presentation to the United Nations,
- turns out to have been plagiarized from what source?
-
-
-
- a) Fox News Channel
- b) A graduate student's thesis
- c) Historian Stephen Ambrose
- d) "Dr. Strangelove"
-
-
- 8. What celebrity threatened to sue a Los Angeles
- radio station after an impersonator posing as him
- called French President Jacques Chirac and engaged him
- in a five-minute conversation about the war in Iraq?
-
-
-
- a) Comedian Jerry Lewis
- b) Comedian Al Franken
- c) Actor Sean Penn
- d) Actor Martin Sheen
-
-
- 9. True or false: When Republican Rep. Scott McInnis
- told Democrat Rep. Pete Stark to "shut up"
at a
- congressional committee meeting amid a legislative
- dispute, Stark replied: "You think you are big enough
- to make me, you little wimp? Come on, come over here
- and make me, I dare you...You little fruitcake. You
- little fruitcake. I said you are a fruitcake."
-
-
- 10. When Texas Democrats fled to New Mexico to stop a
- Republican redistricting plan, Republicans sent them
a
- "care package" containing which of the following
- items?
-
-
-
- a) Diapers
- b) Baby rattles
- c) Child leashes
- d) Pacifiers
- e) All of the above
-
-
- 11. Four of these headlines appeared in the satirical
- weekly "The Onion." Which one appeared in a
U.S.
- newspaper?
-
-
-
- a) Bush Re-Election Campaign Creates Thousands of New
- Jobs
- b) Bush Diagnosed With Attention-To-Deficit Disorder
- c) Bush Bravely Leads 3rd Infantry Into Battle
- d) Latest Leak: Bush Orders An End to Leaks
- e) Bush Asks Congress For $30 Billion to Help Fight
- War on Criticism
-
-
- 12. Walden O'Dell, the chief executive of Diebold
- Inc., one of the largest manufacturers of computerized
- voting machines, raised eyebrows when he said he was
- committed to what?
-
-
-
- a) Rigging voting machines to ensure Democratic
- victories in 2004
- b) Helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to
- President Bush in 2004
- c) Utilizing an electronic version of the butterfly
- ballot to confuse Florida voters again
- d) Installing software enabling voting machines to
- make helpful suggestions
-
-
- 13. Porn star/California recall candidate Mary Carey
- offered to go on a date with anyone willing to do
- what?
-
-
-
- a) Cruz her Bustamante
- b) Throw an egg at Arnold Schwarzenegger
- c) Dig up embarrassing details about Gary Coleman's
- past
- d) Donate $5,000 to her campaign
-
-
- 14. In hopes of aiding the war on terror, who proposed
- a plan (later abandoned) to create a futures market
- that would have allowed investors to bet on the
- probability of terrorist attacks, assassination
- attempts and other Middle East events?
-
-
-
- a) Martha Stewart
- b) William Bennett
- c) The Pentagon
- d) Harrah's Casino
-
-
- 15. Match the statement about Iraq's weapons of mass
- destruction with the Bush administration official who
- said it:
-
-
-
- A. "The absence of evidence is not evidence of
- absence."
- B. "We found the weapons of mass destruction."
- C. "I think the burden is on those people who think
he
- didn't have weapons of mass destruction to tell the
- world where they are."
- D. "U.S. officials never expected that we were going
- to open garages and find weapons of mass destruction."
- E. "The truth is that for reasons that have a lot
to
- do with the U.S. government bureaucracy, we settled on
- the one issue that everyone could agree on, which was
- weapons of mass destruction, as the core reason."
-
-
- 1) George W. Bush
- 2) Donald Rumsfeld
- 3) Condoleezza Rice
- 4) Ari Fleischer
- 5) Paul Wolfowitz
-
-
-
- Answers: 1. b, 2. A-2, B-5, C-3, D-1, E-4, 3. c, 4. d,
- 5. a, 6. e, 7. b, 8. a, 9. True, 10. e, 11. d, 12. b,
- 13. d, 14. c, 15. A-2, B-1, C-4, D-3, E-5
-
-
- Daniel Kurtzman is a San Francisco writer and former
- Washington political correspondent. He runs
- About.com's political humor website.
-
- http://www.alternet.org/story.html?StoryID=17451
|