- 1) Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime,
unless you are millionaire conservative radio jock, which makes it an "illness"
and needs our prayers for "recovery."
- 2) You have to believe that those privileged from birth
achieve success all on their own.
- 3) You have to be against government programs, but
expect your Social Security checks on time.
- 4) You have to believe that government should stay
out of people's private lives but it needs to punish anyone caught having
sex with the "wrong" gender.
- 5) You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long
as it makes a profit.
- 6) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long
as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
- 7) You have to believe that only your own teenagers
are still virgins.
- 8) You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted
with decisions about her own body, but that large multinational corporations
can make decisions affecting all mankind with no regulation whatsoever.
- 9) You have to believe that you love Jesus and Jesus
loves you, and that Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals,
and Hillary Clinton.
- 10) You hate the ACLU for representing convicted felons,
but they owed it to the country to bail out Oliver North.
- 11) You have to believe that it was wise to allow Ken
Starr to spend $50 million dollars to attack Clinton because no other U.S.
presidents have ever been unfaithful to their wives.
- 12) You have to believe that group sex is a degenerate
sin that can only be purged by running for governor of California as a
- 13) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out
of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't
- 14) You have to believe that the ACLU is bad because
they defend the Constitution, while the NRA is good because they defend
- 15) You have to believe that government medicare is wrong
and that HMOs and insurance companies only have your best interests at
- 16) You have to believe the AIDS virus is not important
enough to deserve federal funding proportionate to the resulting death
rate and that the public doesn't need to be educated about it, because
if we just ignore it, it will go away.
- 17) You have to believe that biology teachers are corrupting
the morals of 6th graders if they teach them the basics of human sexuality,
but the Bible, which is full of sex and violence, is just good reading.
- 18) You have to believe that atheism is a religion but
that creationism is just good science.
- 19) You have to believe that Saddam was a good guy when
Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy
when Cheney was doing business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed
a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
- 20) You have to believe that the lumber from the last
one percent of old growth U.S. forests is well worth the destruction of
those forests and the extinction of the several species of plants and animals
- 21) You believe that the public has "a right to
know" about the adulterous affairs of Democrats, while those of Republicans
are a "private matter".
- 22) You have to believe that the public has a right to
know what the government is doing but that Bush was right to censor those
28 pages from the Congressional 9/11 report because you just can't handle
- 23) You support state rights, which means Ashcroft telling
states what locally passed voter initiate he will allow them to have.
- 24) You have to believe that Aid to Mothers with Dependent
children is wasteful, but giving tax breaks to companies moving American
jobs overseas is just what government is for.
- 25) You have to believe that trade with Cuba is wrong
because it is communist, but trading with China and Vietnam is just dandy.
- 'A people living under the perpetual menace of war and
invasion is very easy to govern. It demands no social reforms. It does
not haggle over expenditures on armaments and military equipment. It pays
without discussion, it ruins itself, and that is an excellent thing for
the syndicates of financiers and manufacturers for whom patriotic terrors
are an abundant source of gain.' Anatole France
- Not dead, in jail, or a slave? Thank a liberal! Pay
your taxes so the rich don't have to. For the finest in liberal/leftist