- As children, most women did not receive adequate love
from their fathers. As a result, they are insecure, distrust men and feel
they must be independent.
- They can't respond sexually and their marriages often
end in divorce. Their daughters continue the vicious cycle.
- This is the conclusion of Victoria Secunda's book "Women
and their Fathers: The Sexual and Romantic Impact of the First Man in Your
Life "(1992). It is based on interviews with 150 daughters, 75 fathers,
and dozens of authorities.
- Because she is not an academic, Secunda wrote an honest
and useful book. Because she is a feminist, it slipped through the feminist
censors and was well received. This is ironic because feminism is largely
responsible for the father loss and calamity she describes.
- I will argue later that feminism, which originates in
Marxism, undermines women and society by eliminating fathers. And I will
present a heterosexual paradigm that might be useful to some men and women.
- FATHERS AND DAUGHTERS
- Girls base their male romantic ideal on their relationship
with their father. "When I grow up, will I ever find a man as sweet
and good and kind as my daddy" is how one women expressed it. (Secunda,
- A three-year-old girl is at the stage of her development
when she wants to marry Daddy and have mother out of the way. A good father
helps her to understand that he is spoken for and prepares her for another
man. But if he leaves, her idealization of her father can become frozen
in time. (197)
- Women's attachments or lack of them are "mirror
images" of how they related to their fathers. People often instinctively
repeat what they experienced in childhood, even if it was the worst thing
in the world. It's what they know. They are trying to have one more shot
at childhood, one more chance to rewrite their emotional histories. (224)
Little girls must have their father's approval and love. This is like sun
and water to a flower.
- One woman said: "Whenever I'd worry about ever getting
a boyfriend, he'd laugh and say, 'Are you kidding? I'll have to beat them
off with a stick. You'll see.' His whole approach was to make me feel good
about myself.... I think if fathers do nothing else, that's a great thing."
- Another woman said: "It's my dad who made me believe
in myself. I remember my mom once telling me, 'Don't act too smart, the
boys won't like you." To which my father responded, 'Hogwash she'll
get smarter boys." (225)
- These women naturally feel positively about men and are
able to find partners who mirror the devoted father of childhood.
- "FATHERLESS" WOMEN
- If a woman does not have a loving dependable father,
due to his own arrested development or a divorce, she may seek men who
reject or deny her needs. She may recoil from love altogether. Always she
is haunted by the thought that she is essentially unlovable. (224)
- These women may become sexually active prematurely to
try to compensate. They may fear intimacy. The common theme is "an
inability to trust, to believe that a man won't go away."
- Secunda says that in a study of the sex lives of 300
women, those who had trouble achieving orgasm mostly had fathers who were
emotionally or physically absent during their childhood. (31)
- Apparently, a woman needs to trust in order to "let
go." (See also my "The Power of Sexual Surrender." http://www.savethemales.ca/290502.html)
- Women with absent fathers feel rootless and aren't sure
they belong anywhere. They close up emotionally and tend to have rocky
relationships. "Most of these daughters tended to test the men in
their lives starting fights, finding flaws, expecting to be abandoned,
or looking for excuses to walk out themselves." (214)
- Another pattern is anxiety about supporting themselves
and of being financially dependent on men. This is where feminism comes
- "It seems that the less masculine attention they
got in childhood, the more they seem to identify with and imitate men,
keeping their feelings hidden, preferring casual teasing and unemotional
banter to the intimacies of feminine soul bearing." (212)
- Denied their fathers, women become more masculine. This
is a way of bringing daddy back. They become the thing they are missing.
- In other words, a good father affirms his daughter's
innate femininity. But if he is absent, she compensates by becoming masculine.
This of course undermines her future relationships with men.
- THE ORIGINS OF FEMINISM
- The leaders of second wave feminism were usually products
of broken homes. "My father didn't ever exist as a presence in my
life.... He didn't care about us," said Marilyn French, author of
"The War Against Women."
- "My father was living in California," said
Gloria Steinem. "He didn't ring up but I would get letters from him
and saw him maybe once or twice a year."
- Germaine Greer: "My father had decided pretty early
on that life at home was pretty unbearable...it gave my mother an opportunity
to tyrannize the children and enlist their aid to disenfranchise my father
completely." (From Susan Mitchell. Icons, Saints and Divas: Intimate
Conversations with Women who Changed the World, New York: Harper Collins,
- Feminism is a self-perpetuating form of father-loss.
Its goal is to "overthrow the patriarchy." The word originates
in the Latin "pater" or father. Feminism, like Communism, originates
in the Illuminist endeavour to overthrow God and the natural order and
impose on mankind a dictatorship of the rich.
- Feminism is designed to weaken society so that it will
succumb. It is extrapolated from Marxism: men "oppress" women
by virtue of their role as wife and mother. This of course is nonsense.
Both sex roles involve sacrifice. Men have supported and defended families
with their lives for centuries.
- Feminism reflects the Illuminist (Masonic/Communist)
assumption that man defines reality, not God and nature. It claims that
sex roles are socially rather than biologically based. It coerces women
to abandon the feminine role and usurp the masculine one instead, making
men redundant. Feminists teach that all injustice is due to the "inequality"
of the sexes and therefore heterosexuality itself must be eliminated. Many
feminists are lesbian and promote homosexuality. They have passed laws
that deprive men of all rights over their children and property. Courts
and police routinely discriminate against men. (See my "Dawn of the
Feminist Police State" http://www.savethemales.ca/000079.html and
"NWO Tyranny: Men are Being Kicked in the Teeth" http://www.savethemales.ca/230702.html)
- The establishment fosters and spreads this magnificent
hoax. I refer you to my articles "Relearning Heterosexual Love"
http://www.savethemales.ca/030402.html " "Betty Friedan: Mommie
was a Commie" http://www.savethemales.ca/000061.html; and "Gloria
Steinem: How the CIA Used Feminism to Destabilize Society" http://www.savethemales.ca/180302.html
- THE HAVOC WREAKED BY FEMINISM
- Since the onslaught of second-wave feminism in the 1960's
the divorce rate has tripled. Almost 50% of white women who married then
have divorced. In contrast, a single generation earlier (1940's), only
14% eventually divorced.
- Between 1970 and 1992, the proportion of babies born
outside of marriage leapt from 11% to 30%.
- Three times as many children (per capita) are now living
in single parent households. In 2000, 22.4% of all children under 18 (16,162,000
children) lived in mother-only households. In 1960, the figure was 8%.
- A study which tracked 1000 children of divorced parents
from 1976 until 1987 found that nearly half of these children had not seen
their fathers in the previous year. (203)
- As far as women's psychological development and happiness,
feminism clearly is a virulent disease.
- FATHER-DAUGHTER: A HETEROSEXUAL PARADIGM
- These days men and women are kept in a state of arrested
development, frozen in the courtship stage. If people are sex starved and
stunted, you can sell them products and control them.
- The mass media encourages us to obsess on sex and postpone
marriage and family indefinitely. When you are married, sex is readily
available and less important.
- Young men are taught to judge women on appearance and
ignore more important qualities in a mate. Some men think beautiful women
are superhuman and unapproachable. Perhaps the following will be of use
to some of them. If women form their ideal of male from their father, present
or absent, it behoves men to be more "father-like" in their approach
to women. Typically, women choose men who are five years older because
they seek to replicate their own family, with husband providing the physical
and emotional security as their father did (or should have). Men should
seek younger women who "look up" to them. Instead of thinking
in sexual terms, men should seek long-term relationships leading to marriage.
This is far more rewarding than casual sex anyway.
- Whether they had good fathers or not, women need husbands
for security, nurturing and direction. Men should prepare themselves for
this role, with regard to wife and children. This is the standard to which
men have always measured themselves, and women still measure men.
- If many women are looking for a father figure, are men
looking for a mother? Possibly. But this isn't healthy. Many men want a
daughter-figure, someone who will demonstrate the loyalty, trust and innocence
that a girl feels for her father. A man wants to be affirmed in his authority
as husband and father, not mothered like a child. Of course a man also
wants his wife to be strong, sophisticated and effective because this makes
her more desirable. But she should retain those daughterly qualities that
he finds so attractive. When a woman trusts her husband's leadership, she
can focus on her feminine side. It allows her to retain her youthfulness
and attraction into old age.
- Victoria Secunda's book confirms that some men occasionally
have sexual feelings for their daughters. She says this is normal. Men
get spooked by this and avoid their daughters. They shouldn't. There is
a world of difference between arousal and actually wanting, let alone doing.
- A father's responsibility is to build his daughter's
trust in men, and prepare her for another man. This involves confirming
her in her sexual identity, as a capable attractive partner for a future
- In my lifetime the popular image of the father has undergone
a transformation from the dignified Robert Young in Fathers Knows Best
to the bumbling fool Homer Simpson. This is not a coincidence or a "sign
of the times." It reflects a sophisticated psychological warfare program
designed by the Illuminist elite to emasculate men, degrade and destabilize
- The people whop own and run the planet do not want us
to become mature beings who can perceive the true order of things. Their
main instrument is the mass media, which makes trends like feminism appear
- Victoria Secunda has shown that a healthy father-daughter
relationship in a nuclear family is essential to a woman's psychological
development and future happiness. Despite its pretensions, feminism undermines
women by depriving them of these things.
- I want to be clear that women are equal to men, and should
have careers if they wish. But at its heart, feminism is not about these
things. It promotes a lesbian developmental disorder that destroys society
by attacking its basic social unit, the heterosexual family.
- The dysfunction created by the destruction of the family
has spawned a predatory class of professionals: politicians, educators,
writers, law enforcers, lawyers, counsellors and health care professionals.
This class becomes the Iluminist elite's political constituency. Thus mankind
is kept in a state of arrested development.
- It's time for men to step up to the plate. We also suffer
from father loss. But there is a father that we can know. I am talking
about God. We are made in God's image and His image is in our soul. Man
in Latin, "vir", has the same root as virtue. It's as simple
as doing the right thing.
- In this context, it means forming strong marriages and
having healthy children.
- Henry Makow Ph.D. is the inventor of the board game Scruples
and the the author of "A Long Way to go for a Date." His past
articles on feminism and the new world order can be found at www.savethemales.ca
He enjoys receiving comments at email@example.com