An
imagined conversation with God...
Troubled
Man: God. God. Are you there?
No answer.
Troubled Man: Are you there?
God: Whadda yah want?
Troubled Man: Oh, thank heaven. You're there.
God: Whadda yah want?
Troubled Man: God, tell me please; why am I here?
God: Cause that's where I put yah!
Troubled Man: No, I mean, what's my purpose for being here?
God: I don't know. That's your business.
Troubled Man: No. You must have had a reason for putting us here.
God: Yes, I did.
Troubled Man: Well, what was it?
God: Well, to be truthful, to see if I could improve upon the monkey a
little.
Troubled Man: That's it?
God: That's it!
Troubled Man: But, but what are we supposed to do with our lives?
God: That's your business.
Troubled Man: But you must have given us a purpose.
God: No. I am too busy creating billions of you. I can't be concerned
about what your gonna do with yourselves. I did improve upon the monkey
a tiny bit by giving you all a slightly larger brain, one you have to
use to create your own purpose.
Troubled Man: Does each one of us have a purpose?
God: I told you. It's up to each one of you. Listen, your brain is designed
to be self-starting. It's not like a car battery where you have to call
on me to jump start it. so, quit bugging me. quit whining, and get started.
Troubled Man: don't you answer our prayers?
God: I put them in the 'In' basket!.
Troubled Man: You know, you've never once answered one of mine.
God: do you know how big that 'In' basket is. It's the size of Jupiter.
And the truth is, yours are way down at the bottom of the list, and if
I ever do get around to looking at them, it'll probably be just for laughs.
Troubled Man: That's cruel to us.
God: Certainly not as cruel as you guys are to each other. And you know
why I usually don't answer prayers"?
Troubled Man: Why?
God:
Because the whining and begging and pleading I hear from you all outnumbers
the 'Thank You's' by about a billion to one!
Troubled Man: Oh, I'm sorry.
God: O.K. The long and short of it is this: I gave you a Life; now you
go get one for yourself!
THUNDER...AND OUT! |