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Border
Wall? Trump Friendship |
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By
Douglas Herman |
| When is a wall not a wall? When is a wall more
than the sum total of bricks and mortar? When is a wall a necessary evil
that becomes a symbol of something useful, historical and monumental in
the popular imagination - and especially for the tourist industry? A Brief History of Walls Hadrian built his wall, on the northern fringes of the Roman Empire, and now his wall is a tourist attraction in Great Britain. So popular is it that people have pilfered parts of Hadrian’s Wall for hundreds of years. Meanwhile down in Rome, the Catholic Pope has his Vatican wall and he draws millions of pope fans, only to withdraw behind lofty walls whenever he gets tired. And nobody tells The Pope to tear it down. Why is that? Wall Street began as an actual wall, in lower Manhattan, when New York was just a tiny Dutch settlement. Don’t believe me? Look it up on Wikipedia. Eventually the local Indians got swindled by early Wall Street traders, told to hit the bricks, and the old wall fell down and was replaced by a muddy street once the Indians were gone. Yup, Wall Street (since paved). The Israelis have a wall they call a Separation Fence, but it’s a great big wall just the same, complete with graffiti. Ugly as hell and sort of looks like the old Berlin Wall. Some say the modern Israeli wall, still a work in progress, is anti-Semitic. Critics say the wall keeps Palestinian Semites from their property, but you never hear about that in the great big wonderful American mainstream media. Why is that? Maybe because the Israelis wisely call their border wall a Separation Fence and can cite all sorts of statistics about increased safety and security. The exact same sort of statistics that Trump will be able to cite! The Chinese have that Great Wall of China. Seen from outer space, the Great Wall draws millions of tourists. Maybe a million selfies per day are shot on that great big wall, with a gazillion great big smiley faces. Nobody asks the Chinese to tear down that wall, not even relatives of the former Mongol invaders. Of course the Chinese hate Donald Trump because they know if that Great Wall of Trump gets built it will draw tourists away from China. Those same tourists that fly over to China to breath smoggy air, spend gobs of money on fake designer goods and walk the Great Wall of China today, will one day probably go to the Great Wall of America. People Protected by Walls Caught Throwing Bricks Naturally the limousine liberals of America, obscenely rich folks like Mark Zuckerberg, Hillary Clinton and Rob Reiner, hate Donald Trump because Trump wants to build a wall on the Mexican border. Millions of poor, unemployed people have flooded into America over the recent years. Joining the millions of Americans already unemployed here. Naturally very few refugees move in with George Soros or Mark Zuckerberg or Rob Reiner. Why is that? Could it be by design? Of course, ALL of these poor foreign refugees require taxpayers to fund them, pay for their living expenses here, however. Zuckerberg says he supports open borders for all the people of the world, but Mark lives within a walled fortress, with security guards more heavily armed than the US Border Patrol. Besides a bunch of bloggers, US Senator Jeff Sessions noted the hypocrisy of the Facebook founder, especially after the Senator discovered Zuckerberg bought the surrounding homes around his property to allegedly get a little more privacy. “Well, the ‘masters of the universe’ are very fond of open borders,” said Sessions, “as long as these open borders don’t extend to their gated compounds and fenced off estates.” Hollywood heavyweight, Rob Reiner, slammed concerned American citizens who agree with Trump about securing our borders. He called such people racists. But surprisingly you never hear rich Hollywood types like Reiner criticize Israel as racist. You never hear them call Israel’s leaders anti-Semitic for building a separation fence that keeps poor Semitic people from working in the exact same fields their ancestors worked for generations. Why is that? Maybe because the Israelis wisely renamed that ugly border wall a simple separation fence! After all, good fences make good neighbors, right? RINOs Need Love Too Likewise the endangered RINOs of America, guys like Paul Ryan, Mitt Romney and Jeb Bush, hate Trump because Don said he wants to construct a great big wall on the Mexican border. Most Americans agree with Trump and distrust the Bush family. Not surprisingly, Paul Ryan has a great big wall on his property, but he doesn’t think the average taxpaying Americans should enjoy that same security and privacy. “Ryan’s home is surrounded by a tall border fence reinforced by equally high bushes ensuring both privacy and security,” wrote Julia Hahn at Breitbart. “Moreover the fence is manned by an on-duty (probably armed) agent who guards his property’s perimeter. Upon even the slightest appearance of any unusual activity, such as a 5’2” female taking photographs of the fence, Ryan’s border agent will deploy into action to ensure the perimeter’s sovereignty.” But if any American taxpayers want a wall similar to Paul’s, separating the sovereign, taxpayer-funded property of USA, Ryan says to them: “We want a system where people can come here and work go back and forth if they want to.” Great Pauls of Fire! Representative Ryan has provide us all with a Brilliant idea. If America builds that Great Wall, people will come here and work, go back and forth to work AND play. The Great Friendship Fence Sports Complex Suppose we forget walls for a while and think outside the (Owner’s) box. Eisenhower built the US Intrastate system in the 1950s. The system took more than twenty years to construct and remains a work in progress today. He hardly intended Americans to “See the USA in your Chevrolet.” That was just a side benefit. Instead Ike saw how wonderful and efficient the German autobahn was for moving men and machines around the country. War machines first and foremost. Think of building a security wall and topping it with a high speed rail! Then think of building a series of adjoining sports complexes spanning both nations! Instead of a separation fence we would have a Friendship Fence Sports Complex, yes one with forty or fifty foot walls, of course, to keep out gate crashers. But think of the views! Condos could be built and sold to Chinese billionaires for outrageous amounts of cash. All that money could be used to fund the wall. Oh the irony! Chinese funding the Great Wall here! Think of how easy it would be to drive to an NFL game. El Paso could get an NFL franchise, spanning two nations with five million people in the surrounding area. The El Paso Argonauts sounds like a good name to me. But naming rights would bring in another $50 million dollars alone. El Paso Conquistadors? Maybe not, unless Exxon/ Mobil wants to pay for it. With a wonderful coliseum adjoining the wall, the NFL would be well-prepared in advance, especially after the Big One wrecks the (future) Los Angeles Rams stadium sitting smack on a fault line in Los Angeles. The Great Friendship Fence Sports Complex sounds like a wonderful, shovel-ready idea to me. Add some malls and outlet shops and hanging gardens and call it the 10th wonder of the world. The bigger the better, right? No more border crossing and drug smuggling. Maybe a little ticket scalping to Argonaut or Conquistador games but then that’s just an accepted form of Capitalism, like stock shenanigans on Wall Street. When finally finished, the Great Trump Taj MaWall (as poor sport critics will probably call our lovely friendship fence) will be seen by bored astronauts from farther away in outer space. Farther even than that soon-to-be obsolete Chinese wall. Grads 4 Friendship Closer here to home I attended an Arizona State University graduation ceremony for the Arts & Design school recently. Hundreds of hopefuls in caps and gowns. Now what, many of them wondered? Suppose President Trump took thousands of these unemployed artists and had them contribute to the Great Wall of America, creating safe space at the Friendship Fence? Sure corporate logos for a thousand miles looks nice but imagine Millennial Towers straight out of Harry Potter with wind chimes and mosaic sculptures? Throw buckets of Fed money at these millennials. Truckloads more money than they threw at the Vietnam War Memorial black wall. Make America great again and so on and so forth. On a serious note, I highly recommend a remarkable, non fiction book called Another Man's Sombrero: by Darrell Ankarlo, about the Mexican / US border situation seen from a boots-on-the-ground perspective. After reading that book, you will never look at our southern border from the same perspective again. Viva Las Americas! |
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