- Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive another
'Economic Stimulus' payment.
-
- This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll
explain it by using a Q & A format:
-
- Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
-
- A. It is money that the federal government will send
to taxpayers.
-
- Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
-
- A. From taxpayers.
-
- Q. So the government is giving me back my own money
?
-
- A. Only a smidgen of it.
-
- Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
-
- A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase
a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
-
- Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China
?
-
- A. Shut up.
-
- Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the
U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
-
- * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart,
the money will go to China or Sri Lanka
-
- * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will
go to the Arabs.
-
- * If you purchase a computer, it will go to
India , Taiwan or China
-
- * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will
go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala .
-
- * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to
Japan or Korea .
-
- * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go
to Taiwan
-
-
- * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock,
it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
-
- Instead, keep the money in America by:
-
- 1) Spending it at yard sales, or
-
- 2) Going to ball games, or
-
- 3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
-
- 4) Beer or
-
- 5) Tattoos.
-
- (These are the only American businesses still operating
in the U.S. )
-
- Conclusion:
-
- Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you
met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !
-
- No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
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