- FRANKFURT, Germany --
Governments, police services, and prison authorities around the world are
reportedly "overjoyed" by the launch of a new prescription drug
that cures people who doubt the veracity of the so-called Jewish Holocaust.
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- Shares in Israel-based Goy & Goy Pharmaceuticals
Incorporated rocketed to 89 US dollars following the long-awaited announcement
of a miracle cure for Holocaust Denial Syndrome (HDS).
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- Soon to be marketed and sold under the name Holozac,
the drug works by closing down the brain's center of intellectual inquiry.
It also blocks the re-uptake of politically incorrect neurotransmitters involved
in critical thought processes, making it more difficult to distinguish
between truth and lies.
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- "We're simply overwhelmed by the response of the
governments we control in the Zionist West," says Ari Scheister, Marketing
Director for Goy & Goy's regional office in Germany. "Particularly
so in the European Union where prisons are bursting at the seams
with professors, journalists, and academics who each suffer the symptoms
of advanced and potentially fatal HDS and other diseases associated with
human awareness and a passion for the truth."
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- Europe's most prominent sufferers, Ernst Zundel, Germar
Rudolf, and David Irving are said to be in a stable condition
following incarceration in high-security prison facilities for People Who
Read Books (PWRBs).
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- "Next to People Who Have the Audacity to Actually
Write Books (PWHTATAWBs), the PWRBs are our most urgent concern,"
says Guenther Gutmensch, Parliamentary Chairman of the Federal Commission
for Confiscating and Burning Books That Make People Think Something Ain't
Right (FCFCABBTMPTSAR). "They ask lots of questions and they have
an unnatural and very unhealthy obsession with finding out the truth. They
simply do not believe a word we say."
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- Goy & Goy Pharmaceuticals were given the green light
by EU health regulators yesterday following extensive double-blind tests
involving twenty HDS sufferers. Over a seven-day period, the patients were
allowed unrestricted access to a library of detailed and scientifically
authenticated studies of the so-called Jewish Holocaust. Ten of the patients
were given a placebo, whereas each of the other ten was administered 500
mg of Holozac twelve times a day.
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- "The results were astonishing," says Dr Ron
Haggler, who supervised the trial. "On the first day, both groups
quickly found all three volumes of the 1948 'Report of the International
Committee of the Red Cross', and 'The Hoax of the Twentieth Century' byArthur
Butz. On the second day, patients were still reading and discussing Germar
Rudolf's 'Lectures on the Holocaust' and Juergen Graf's seminal 'The Giant
with Feet of Clay'."
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- "However," continues Haggler, "by Wednesday
morning the group treated with Holozac had actually pushed aside Carlo
Mattogno's 'Auschwitz: Rumor and Reality' and Norman Finkelstein's 'The
Holocaust Industry' in favor of the semi-mythical 'Schindler's List'. At
the end of the experiment they were actually fighting over the only available
copy of Germany's favourite self-loathing, government-controlled newspaper
'Bild Zeitung'."
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- There are however side effects associated with Holozac.
Its active ingredient, Zionine, has been shown to cause a pathological
hatred of Palestinians and Muslims in general.
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- "It's not for cartoonists or editor's of Mossad-controlled
newspapers," Haggler explained. "We are also cautioning doctors
not to prescribe to patients who have a habit of harming either themselves
or complete strangers and who then blame that harm on imaginary Arab terrorists."
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- Haggler's colleagues also stress that giving the drug
to Christians who have been artfully persuaded to believe a false, unscriptural,
satanic doctrine known as the Zionist Dispensation would be sheer overkill.
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- "Cyrus Scofield and the Rapture crowd did to
American Christians what this drug can do to the Holy Remnant," says
an Israeli team coordinator, smiling. "Pastors and Ministers in the
United States, who have deliberately confused the pristine Kingdom
of God with a stretch of worthless real estate on a spinning ball
of dirt, have all but made medical treatment with Holozac unnecessary.
A Scofield Reference Bible believer on just one milligram of
Zionine would make the Irgun death squad look like the Cub Scouts on
a paper chase. Buying stock in Caterpillar would be a smart move. Here's
my broker's phone number."
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- Despite such reservations about possible side effects,
the European Union has already invested 15 billion euros in what
it describes as the most ambitious mental health campaign in modern times.
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- "We're talking about targeted pre-emptive measures,"
says an EU spokesman for Mental Hygiene and Correct Thinking. "Holocaust
Denial Syndrome begins at home and in the classroom. Does your child ask
questions? Does he or she read books? Does he or she get bored with television
news programmes and surf the Internet for uncensored history sites and
the truth about September 11? If the answer is 'yes' to any one of
these painfully necessary questions, then your child should be treated
with Holozac immediately before his or her brain has a chance to fully
develop its dangerous critical faculties."
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- Much to the delight of Goy & Goy shareholders, that
recommendation was heartily echoed by psychiatric professionals throughout
the European Union yesterday.
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- "We often find ourselves being called out at short
notice to help the police deal with highly intelligent people who question
the official version of history and who therefore require urgent medication,"
says first-responder Heidi Stomp. "At the end of the day, all we want
is a society of normal, well-adjusted people who watch television, trust
the government, don't ask questions, pay taxes, and love Israel."
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- "Governments are limited in terms of what they can
do to keep young men dying in wars for Israel premised upon our cleverly
scripted history and other scams," reiterates Ari Scheister. "They
can burn books and lie and deceive over and over again, but there's always
a hard core of dangerously self-educated and wilfully informed people who
persist in asking troublesome questions about our precious and wonderfully
unique Holocaust, despite the threat of imprisonment or worse. The only
way to deal with this terrible disease and stop the truth from infecting
other people is by treating sufferers with our new miracle Holozac."
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- "To paraphrase one of our cleverest non-attributable
disinformation slogans of all time," concludes Scheister, "it
may not be the only solution, but it's sure as hell the final solution.
Pass the Sushi, will ya?"
-
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- Michael James is a British freelance journalist and translator,
resident in Germany for almost 14 years.
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