- As a rule, I don't normally forward anything I get in
my e-mail due to SPAM, but if you're into aviation like me, these are really
good.
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- For those that don't know, "The Sled" is the
SR-71 Blackbird spy plane from the 1960s and still the fastest airplane
on earth. That we know of. I'm sure the government has a few secrets yet!
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- In his book, "Sled Driver", SR-71 Blackbird
pilot Brian Shul writes: "I'll always remember a certain radio exchange
that occurred one day as Walt (my back-seater) and I were screaming across
Southern California 13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio transmissions
from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't
really control us, they did monitor our movement across their scope. I
heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its ground speed. "90 knots"
Center replied. Moments later, a Twin Beech requested the same. "120
knots, Center answered. We weren't the only ones proud of our ground speed
that day as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, "Ah, Center,
Dusty Five-Two requests ground speed readout." There was a slight
pause, then the response, "525 knots on the ground, Dusty Five-Two."
Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation
this was, I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission coming from
my back-seat...as at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become
a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison. "Center, Aspen Two-Zero,
you got a ground speed readout for us?" There was a longer than normal
pause.... "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots" (That's about 2,004.658
mph for those who don't know).
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- No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.
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- In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported
receiving a request for clearance to FL 600 (60,000 ft). The incredulous
controller, with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan
to get up to 60,000 feet? The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded,
"We don't plan to go up to it; we plan to go down to it." He
was cleared.
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- The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38
revolver.
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- He placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then
asked the navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?"
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- The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?"
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- The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who
get me lost."
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- The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it
on his chart table.
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- The pilot asked, "What's that for?"
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- "To be honest, sir," the navigator replied,
"I'll know we're lost before you will."
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- When Hillary Clinton visited Iraq last month the Army
Blackhawk helicopter used to transport the Senator was given the call sign
"Broomstick One". And they say the Army has no sense of humor.
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- Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock,
6 miles."
- Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital
watches."
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- One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower
to hold short of the runway while an MD-80 landed. The MD-80 landed, rolled
out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted
comedian in the MD-80 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute
little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" Our hero the Cherokee
pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with: "I made
it out of MD-80 parts. Another landing like that and I'll have enough
parts for another one."
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- There's a story about a military pilot calling for a
priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a
bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was
number two behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down. "Ah,"
the fighter pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach."
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- A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight.
While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What
was your last known position?" Student: "When I was number one
for takeoff."
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- Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned
around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took
off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the
problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the
engine," explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while
to find a new pilot."
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- "Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45
degrees." "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise
can we make up here?" "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a
747 makes when it hits a 727?
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