- "The trouble with my generation is that we all think
we're fucking geniuses. Making something isn't good enough for us, and
neither is selling something, or teaching something, or even just doing
something; we have to BE something. It's our inalienable right, as citizens
of the twenty-first century. If Christian Aguilera or Britney or some
American Idol jerk can be something, then why can't I. Where's mine, huh?"
--Nick Hornby's "A Long Way Down"
-
- According to a new study, college students in the United
States are more "narcissistic" than their predecessors. The
already controversial report warns of trends that could be harmful to
the students' relationships and society. It states that narcissists are
more likely to "exhibit game-playing, dishonesty, and over- controlling
and violent behaviors."
-
- The study's lead author blames this reported trend on
parents, teachers, and athletic coaches who endlessly tell children they
are "special," i.e. more special than their peers.
-
- A search of university blogs and websites reveals that
students and staff are not taking this "news" well. Many dispute
the study's results, claiming it was biased and based on a poor understanding
of the culture. Andrew Granias of the University of Wisconsin- Madison
writes, "...what they have confused in their research and conceptually
failed to grasp is that the very essence of Western society since, oh
I don't know, the Enlightenment, has been a sentiment of individualism,
not egoism." (Link: http:// badgerherald.com/oped/2007/03/01/study_mislabels_stud.php
-
- Others argue that in our culture, narcissism is an essential
personality trait. A blogger on progressiveu.org writes, "People
have to be self-centered in this world. Appearance is everything and
taking care of yourself should always be your first priority. You are
judged everyday by the way you look. No one cares to get to know anyone
now. It's pointless to get to know people." (Link: http://www.progressiveu.org/170756-narcissism-is-the-best-invention-
ever)
-
- Still others concede that a trend toward narcissism may
exist, but is nothing to worry about. The Arizona State website writes:
"What's wrong with feelings [sic] special or unique, or thinking
you have a right to lead a life of your choosing?" (Link: http://
www.asuwebdevil.com/issues/2007/03/01/opinions/700058)
-
- Form my perspective, neither the study's reported findings
nor the reactions of today's college participants are surprising. The
struggle to find a balance between healthy and necessary individualism
and unhealthy and destructive self-obsession is an enormous challenge
for most human beings, but especially so for contemporary Westerners (and
particularly Americans.) Our society was built on the principle that every
individual must be equally free to pursue happiness, and in this freedom
(or what remains of it) has inevitably emerged an unhealthy competitiveness.
-
- The attitude of "win-at-all-costs" has always
guided our economy (just ask the former stockholders of Enron, Worldcom,
Adelphia, etc.). In fact, cost of living throughout most of the U.S. has
become so exorbitant that personal wealth is not a decadent aspiration,
it is a brute necessity. And the need for extraordinary personal "success"
is endlessly reinforced by the media saturated culture. Everywhere we
look, we are pummeled with images of Very Special People. Professional
athletes, rock stars and Hollywood actors have been the national icons
for decades, easily outpacing past heroes such as astronauts, statesmen,
authors, and others who may have actually contributed something of merit
to the human race.
-
- American Idol, in all its garish, sadistic ugliness,
has been a consistent ratings leader for half a decade. The message it
sends to American youth is, "If you possess a one-in-a-billion talent,
you are something. If not, you are nothing."
-
- Are we becoming increasingly narcissistic? Yes. And the
knee-jerk reactions of college staff and students against this revelation
only reinforces the depth of the problem.
-
- To anyone whom claims that narcissism is harmless or
even healthy, I point out the deadly effects of narcissism taken to its
extreme, which is sociopathy. A rhetorical question to consider: Is it
a coincidence that the United States, with just 5% of the world's population,
has reportedly produced 76% of the world's serial killers in the last
century (according to "The A to Z Encyclopedia of Serial Killers")?
-
- Yes, our country was founded on the right to pursue happiness,
and it is also founded on the principle that ALL HUMAN BEINGS ARE CREATED
EQUAL. According to our forefathers, intrinsic equality is a truth so
obvious as to be "self-evident." The need for personal specialness
-- which is fundamentally a desire for SUPERIORITY to others -- is not
only an active resistance of equality, it is a denial of REALITY.
-
- It is not an indictment of our national integrity to
admit that we are narcissistic. Most of us had little choice in the matter.
In the U.S., to stand out from the crowd is collectively considered both
desirable and necessary. Parents, teachers, and athletic coaches tell
children that they are "special" to build their confidence and
make them feel loved. But it is a myth that personal excellence and narcissism
are necessary bedfellows. In fact, individual success can be greatest
and most healthy when it is motivated by the desire to contribute to others.
-
- Numerous studies have found that married men who wish
to provide for their families live longer and healthier, perform better
at work, earn more money, and are more likely to finish their higher
education. (Study: http://www.ilr.cornell.edu/cheri/wp/ cheri_wp75.pdf).
From my perspective, this indicates that human beings simply do better
when we are not solely driven by the desire for selfish gain. Altruistic
and loving intentions do not paralyze us, they propel us to greater feats
because they entail no internal conflicts.
-
- Consider the extraordinary achievements of many Olympics
athletes who were largely or entirely motivated by the desire to honor
their countrymen and their families. In comparison, astronomically wealthy
professional athletes in the U.S. are notorious for their spoiled attitudes
and erratic efforts. Self-admiration and egotism provide only transient
and limited motivation while inevitably inspiring greed and apathy.
-
- Perhaps confirming this point, as narcissism among youth
has reportedly grown, overall academic achievement has declined. According
to recent federal reports, high school students' tests scores have worsened
even as their grades have suspiciously improved (Story: http://www.cnn.com/2007/EDUCATION/02/22/
math.reading.scores.ap/index.html)
-
- If kids are indeed becoming more narcissistic, this effect
is predictable. One of the most damaging consequences of a narcissistic
personality is that it breeds a sense of ENTITLEMENT. A person who views
himself as intrinsically special is LESS motivated to expend the necessary
effort for success, because he is too thoroughly convinced of his own
grandeur.
-
- Today's allegedly narcissistic college students probably
did not spend their youth struggling to help their families keep food
on the table and coals in the fire. It's doubtful that their mental focus
has ever been, "How can I help? What can I contribute? What MUST
I do to keep myself and my loved ones alive?", but rather, "What
do I want? What will make me happy? When will I receive what I think I'm
entitled to?"
-
- The generation caught in the grips of this illusion must
not be viewed with contempt, but rather with pity. They are victims not
only of perverse cultural conditioning, but of an illness that has to
some extent afflicted all human beings since the beginning of time. This
illness is the perception that personal superiority (i.e. "specialness")
must be achieved as a defense against the ever- present threat of personal
INFERIORITY: "I have to win or else I will lose."
-
- This problem is continuously addressed in purely spiritual
literature. Virtually all of the material advocates some form of ego
abdication as a necessary step on the individual's path toward greater
peace and fulfillment. One of the most comprehensive teachings offering
an alternative to egotism is A Course in Miracles. ACIM attempts a "reversal"
of the classic human thought structure in which the perception of "gain"
is literally backward: "Today, I learn the law of love; that what
I give my brother is my gift to me."
-
- ACIM asserts that the ego's need for superiority is an
attempt to compensate for the loss of the naturally loving and unified
state in which consciousness existed prior to a fall from grace. The
reader is encouraged to "lay down his sword" (abandon all strategies
for "specialness") as an act of faith. To do this successfully
is to simply recognize that the intrinsic, incorruptible equality of every
human being is a fact that does not harm or diminish us. This revelation
occurs through the removal of obstacles, which are primarily defensiveness
("In my defenseless, my safety lies"), mistrustfulness ("I
trust my brothers, who are at one with me") and judgement ("My
sinless brother is my guide to peace. My sinful brother is my guide to
pain. And which I choose to see I will behold.").
-
- If these teachings are valid, then the imagined need
for personal superiority is 100% illusory. This is a difficult pill to
swallow, because in this world (and particularly this culture) to not
be "better than" is to become a loser. In consideration of this,
the word "special" may not even be appropriate to the problem.
For individuals to develop unique talents and soar to great achievements
is not only valid, it is the KEY to the betterment of the human condition.
Nothing is "wrong" with personal excellence, as long as it does
not engender a belief that one can gain by being separate and superior.
-
- With the recognition of equality comes the desire to
use one's abilities for the benefit of all. The focus shifts from acquiring
what is "out there" to radiating all of one's internal gifts
outward. The natural healthfulness of charity, unity, and cooperation
become obvious, and entail NO SACRIFICE whatsoever. We have no reason
to view ourselves as soldiers of fortune on a hostile battlefield. Rather,
we are individual players in a grand orchestra, and the sound of this
cosmic symphony will be most beautiful when each of us learns to play
his unique and equally critical role in harmony.
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