- 1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full
of s--t.
-
- 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's
hard to pronounce.
-
- 3. How about never? Is never good for you?
-
- 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate
yourself in public.
-
- 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people
learn to see it my way.
-
- 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
-
- 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
-
- 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
-
- 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a
word you're saying.
-
- 10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
-
- 11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was
young and stupid.
-
- 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
-
- 13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't
give a damn.
-
- 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your
mouth.
-
- 15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions
I had about you.
-
- 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by
your unique point of view.
-
- 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean
you're an artist.
-
- 18. Any connection between your reality and mine is
purely coincidental.
-
- 19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
-
- 20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
-
- 21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma
to burn off.
-
- 22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely
ceremonial.
-
- 23. And your cry baby whiney-assed opinion would be...?
-
- 24. Do I look like a people person?
-
- 25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent
lighting.
-
- 26. I started out with nothing & still have most
of it left.
-
- 27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
-
- 28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
-
- 29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
-
- 30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
-
- 31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
-
- 32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
-
- 33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
-
- 34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
-
- 35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
-
- 36. Chaos, panic, & disorder...my work here is done.
-
- 37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
-
- 38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted
a salary.
-
- 39. Oh, I get it....like humor...but different.
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