- Shame on me. I thought the United Nations was not the
answer to world peace. How could I have been so dense?
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- While in New York, I visited the daddy of all
political facades: the United Nations Assembly Building; and there it was,
an exquisite, 20-foot, shiny black statue of a pistol--with its barrel
tied in a knot.
-
- Glory be! At last I know what this august body
is all about: Peace or Else. How did I miss that?
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- The twisted pistol reflects the UN's commitment to world
disarmament, with all military forces under the command of a UN Police
Force. I love it! That way, we won't have to worry anymore about protecting
ourselves and our families. Let the "blue helmets" do it. What
about the Second Amendment? Hell, that went out with powered wigs.
-
- With the vision of the twisted barrel dancing
in my head, I did some research on this benevolent behemoth and found the
UN mandates created at their recent Millennium Summit most enlightening.
-
- Among other things, it seems that the UN is establishing
a World Criminal Court, to try alleged crimes on a world-wide basis, A
global prosecutor can make citizens (including ours) stand trial before
foreign judges, with no guarantee of due process.
-
- Sure, it would jeopardize our constitutional laws but
most of our own judges are too lenient. And as for most of our lawyers,
their briefs are too long, and their fees need downsizing.
-
- The United Nations also calls for more foreign
aid to "developing" countries. True, most of the money we send
overseas to feed starving people goes into the pockets of the ruling elite.
But hey, dictators have to eat too, right?
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- A global war on poverty is also on the UN agenda.
Excellent idea! There are surely enough U.S. dollars to break the poverty
cycle at home, but let's save the rest of the world first; we'll get to
us later.
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- And if there's a financial shortfall, the UN, I'm certain,
would be willing to move to less expensive digs. I hear there are a few
pieces of choice real estate left in Queens.
-
- Another UN mandate calls for government-provided
education. Now, let's not get upset if "global" education fills
our children's minds with ideas that are at odds with America's values
and principles. Remember, in the Global Village, the Pledge of Allegiance,
the Declaration of Independence, and America history must take a back seat
to the Greater Good.
-
- The UN also intends to blend the International
Monetary Fund and the World Bank into a United Nations Economic and Social
Council.
-
- Sounds good to me. Since we've been footing most of the
world's bills, this will relieve us of some bothersome financial obligations.
It might endanger America's economic stability, but every dark cloud has
a silver lining: If we start going down too fast, no sweat. His Affluence
Alan Greenspan will shave another quarter point off interest rates before
we hit bottom.
-
- Finally, the quintessential peace initiative
of the United Nations is the consolidation of all sovereign nations into
a single Global Government. We'll be Citizens of the World. Fantastic!
-
- You say you'd rather be just a plain American
citizen?
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- No problem. Unless they untwist the barrel of the gun.
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