- From the moment I acquired the smallest capacity for
higher thought, I have been bothered by certain overt truths about the
United States of America. Around the age of 8 or 9, I became convinced
that my survival in this country would require a fierceness of independent
thinking, a refusal to believe on FAITH anything and everything that the
masses accepted as "truth." For reasons that I can't quite remember,
I felt at a gut level that a majority of people in this country had been
hoodwinked into believing things that were not true.
-
- I remember becoming consciously aware of politics at
the age of 12. I was in the seventh grade and preparing for an oral debate
in my social studies class. The topic, pre-determined by my teacher, was
abortion. I had never heard of abortion and had to ask my teacher what
it was.
-
- I researched abortion by reading all the related literature
I could find in the school library. Most of the books I found seemed to
argue that abortion was a very bad thing. Looking at ultrasound photos
of fetuses in the womb, I quickly began to feel the same way. It seemed
to me a foregone conclusion that abortion was reprehensible and should
be made illegal.
-
- When it came time for the debate, I gave an impassioned
speech advocating the overturning of Roe V. Wade, giving power to the states
to determine their own abortion laws. The overwhelming majority of my classmates
(most of whom had also never heard of abortion) responded to my thesis
very favorably. I immediately became convinced that most people must be
opposed to abortion.
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- A few months later, I stumbled on an episode of Oprah
Winfrey's talk show which dealt with abortion. This was quite a jarring
experience; I was surprised when a majority of Oprah's audience members,
and Oprah herself, expressed the adamant belief that abortion was "a
woman's right to choose," and should remain legal. Shortly after this,
I saw an installment of the Today show which portrayed all "pro-lifers"
in an incredibly negative light. They all seemed to be walking around with
dead fetuses in their hands, quoting the bible, and planting bombs in abortion
clinics. Even at the age of 12, I took this as a grotesque slur against
my intelligence. I was pro-life, yet I was NOTHING like the morons and
fanatics who were portrayed as "my ilk" by Bryant Gumbel and
Katie Couric.
-
- The viciously one-sided "coverage" of abortion
by American "news" outlets eventually convinced me that most
"reporters" were not only pro-choice, but felt no obligation
to hide their opinions from the public. I learned that most conservatives
felt the same way, complaining of biased coverage in the "liberal
media." As I advanced into my teen years, I began to feel like a stranger
in a strange land. The "great reporters" of our time imparted
to me the not-so subtle message that I was not only wrong but DANGEROUS
for thinking the way that I did. I heard words like "right-wing extremism"
and "right-wing fanatics" repeated over and over on network "news"
casts. But I don't recall ever once hearing the words "left-wing extremist"
or "left-wing fanatic" from the mouths of Brokaw, Jennings, Rather,
Couric, Walters, et al. I began to wonder if it was even POSSIBLE for liberals
to be "too extreme" in their thinking. I had never HEARD of such
a thing!
-
- Eventually, my views on abortion (and many other social
issues) evolved, and I stopped believing in legislative and judicial solutions
to most of our country's problems. But even as I abdicated the adamance
of my pro-life position, I retained my resentment towards the know-nothing-know-it-alls
in the American news media who had no compunction with ridiculing my beliefs
while forcing their own down my throat.
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- So you can imagine my ecstasy when I learned of a cable
news network that would act as a "counter balance" to the left-wing
journalistic majority. The Fox News Network, the creation of billionaire
media mogul and known conservative Ruper Murdoch, hit the air waves in
1996 with the promise that it would provide viewers with "fair and
balanced" journalism. This seemed to resonate with a large number
of Americans who shared my contempt for the covertly biased "mainstream
media." It would be nice to stay abrest of world events 24/7 without
having to absorb the smugly self-satisfied, intentionally tainted and left-slanted
"reporting" of CNN.
-
- It has been 8 years since the inception of the Fox News
Network, so we must ask ourselves: Did Murdoch and company deliver their
promise to provide viewers with "fair and balanced" reporting?
Have they succeeded where virtually everyone else has failed?
-
- If "fair and balanced" means "not liberal,"
then yes, Fox has lived up to its own standards of journalistic integrity.
But if "fair and balanced" actually means "fair and balanced,"
as in reporters leaving their personal opinions and agendas out of their
stories and treating all sides of the political landscape with parity,
Fox has failed more miserably than even its most liberal predecessors.
-
- If the high-falutin, deeply nuanced, limousine liberalism
of CNN can be called a "polished turd," then the chest-pounding,
flag-waving, shamelessly overt neo-conservatism of Fox is the purest grade
of unfiltered horseshit.
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- One might think that I, as a TRUE conservative, would
barely be bothered by the blatant right-wing bias of Murdoch's little brain
child. Nothing could be further from the truth. Fox News has done more
damage to the intellectual causes of true conservatives than any left-wing
journalistic outlet in the history of our country, and I don't just say
this because Fox was single-handedly responsible for electing George W.
Bush, the scourge of true conservatives and all right-minded people. Fox
sucks so mightily because they succeed in making liberals RIGHT. Fox validates
every negative stereotype ever asserted about right-wing ideologs. Of what
stereotypes do I speak? Here, let me list them for you:
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- 1. Conservatives are stupid.
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- The majority of Fox's "anchors" have even less
of a grasp on King's English than our perpetually maundering Idiot In-Chief.
Take Shepard Smith, host of "The Fox Report" and owner of the
most suspiciously white teeth on television. Unfortunately for Smith, his
enviable teeth occupy a maw that seems gobbed full of peanut butter or
some terrible obstruction. The man literally can neither read nor speak.
One is more likely to here an articulate utterance from the mouth of a
prize fighter who's just gone twelve rounds with Mike Tyson.
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- Smith's apparent dyslexia and/or speech impediment caused
him enormous humiliation in 2002 when he uttered the following statement
during a report on pop-star Jennifer Loper: "J. Lo's new song 'Jenny
From the Block' is all about Lopez's roots, about how she' still a neighborhood
gal at heart, but folks form that street in New York, the Bronx section,
sound more likely to give her a curb job than a blow job!" Shep was
supposed to have said "block party," and he immediately apologized,
saying, "I have no idea how it happened, but it won't happen again."
Sorry, Shep, but I DO now how it happened. YOU CAN'T FRICKIN' READ!
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- Fox's morning program "Fox and Friends" features
the most insipid trio of blank-slate simpletons in the history of television
"news." They seem like nice enough folks (at least in a washed
out, aryan sort of way), but again, the ability to read and speak in a
coherent manner is a prerequisite for any on-air personality. Imagine Katie
Couric as a 1950's subservient housewife...and you'll have F & F's
blonde bombshell E.D. Donahey. Weather guy Steve Doocy is...well, the typical
weather guy: affable, goofy, annoying, and totally, utterly blank. Sports
guy Brian Kilmeade does indeed have a pretty good grasp on sports...a VERY
good grasp on sports. A REALLY, REALLY good grasp on sports. Period.
-
- I don't agree with the notion that conservatives are
stupid (at least not as a RULE), but Fox and its little cabal of pretty,
brainless "reporters" seems determined to prove me wrong.
-
- 2. Conservatives are hypocrites.
-
- This gets back to the issue of "fair and balanced"
reporting. Conservatives once had firm ground to stand on when asserting
that the news media was slanted to the left. How can we say this now, with
Fox standing as the highest rated cable news network in the country?
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- The hosts of Fox's most "prestigious" discussion
shows are Brit Hume and Tony Snow. Hume, host of "Special Report with
Brit Hume," was branded a conservative at ABC and ruined for life
in the network news biz...so Fox was obviously an ideal fit for him. Tony
Snow is an openly conservative columnist and radio personality who has
filled in as guest-host on Rush Limbaugh's show since the early 1990's.
Hume and Snow together are the most shamelessly, blatantly biased reporters
in the history of mainstream American journalism.
-
- Viewing Hume's "Special Report" is a discomfiting
exercise for anyone with a working brain. If you have any doubt of Hume's
bias, watch his little 2 minute segment in the middle of "Special
Report" entitled "The Grapevine." The SOLE PURPOSE of The
Grapevine is to illustrate instances of liberal stupidity, dishonesty,
and hypocrisy. Granted, liberals can be quite stupid, dishonest, and hypocritical...but
SO CAN CONSERVATIVES. You would never know this from watching Hume. We
hear reports of college universities "censoring" conservative
voices on campus...we hear reports of John Kerry, Ted Kennedy, Michael
Moore, and Hillary Clinton sticking their foots in their mouths and/or
acting like jerks...we hear reports of Islamic fundamentalists raving against
Israel and the "Zionist conspirators" in the American government....but
we NEVER hear anything that reflects negatively on the neo-conservative
ilk. Gee, I wonder why?
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- 3. Conservatives are poor losers.
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- Al Franken created a firestorm of controversy with his
best-selling book, "Lies and the Lying Liars who Tell Them: A Fair
and Balanced Look at the Right." Fox news actually filed a lawsuit
against Franken, claiming copyright of the "fair and balanced"
slogan. The suit was immediately tossed out of court, leaving Fox looking
like even bigger asses than if they'd done nothing.
-
- Red-faced blow-hard "Rile 'em up" Bill O' Reilly
reacted to Franken the same way he did to George Clooney, Bill Moyers,
and everyone who has dared to criticize him: he repeatedly slammed Franken
in on-air tirades, calling him "vicious" and "emotionally
disturbed." In a very heated public debate between the two, O' Reilly
became enraged and repeatedly screamed at Franken, "Shut up! Shut
up!" Granted, Franken is also a blow-hard and seems to genuinely hate
people with whom he disagrees, but O' Reilly calls himself the master of
the "NO SPIN" zone. He is supposed to remain objective and above
the fray in these little public tiffs.
-
- Hume also got into the act of trying to discredit Franken,
reporting gleefully in "The Grapevine" that Franken lied in an
attempt to interview John Ashcroft about a non-existent book he (Franken)
was "researching." Franken did lie, and that is wrong, but Fox
only reported it because they hate Franken and want to pay him back. Poor
losers, indeed.
-
-
- 4. Conservatives are war mongers.
-
- What can you say about a network that has beaten the
drums of war since the attacks of 9/11? What can you say about a network
that grants interviews carte blanche to everyone from country-singer and
unabashed xenophobe Toby Keith, to Attorney General John Ashcroft? What
can you say about a network that features as regular contributors Charles
Krauthead (er, Krauthammer, the most pro-Israel commentator in all of Washington),
Bill Kristol of the "Weekly Standard," Republican strategist
Heather Nauert, frothing right-wing columnist Michelle Malkin, Fred Barnes,
Colonel David Hunt, Oliver North, republican congressman J. D. Hayworth,
and countless other neo-conservative Bush apologists? What can you say
about a network that features Neil Cavuto, who said of war protestors,
"You sickened me then (before the Iraq war began), and you sicken
me now." What can you say about a network that reads the body count
of our "enemies" like the score of a video game? What can you
say about a network that continues to support a war that has taken the
lives of over 700 US soldiers?
-
-
- 5. Conservatives have contempt for women's rights.
-
- I make this case not because Fox is opposed to abortion
and affirmative action (the key tenets of modern feminist ideology), but
because of the quality and appearance of Fox's female personalities. The
women on Fox are not merely attractive, but jaw-droppingly, drool-inducingly,
drop dead gorgeous. It is difficult for any red-blooded, heterosexual man
to watch Fox News for any length of time without submitting to the urge
for self-gratification. The "babes" on the other networks have
become more and more attractive over the years, as well...but they at least
seem to have the intelligence to match their looks. Fox's women, on the
other hand, are as dumb as boards. I never believed in the "dumb blonde"
stereotype until I heard the aforementioned E.D. Donahey open her mouth.
-
- It is obvious that Roger Ailes, Chairman and Chief Executive
Officer of Fox News, believes that the best role of female "reporters"
is to act as eye-candy and masturbation material for the male viewers at
home.
-
-
- These are just a few of the more egregious stereotypes
associated with conservatives that Fox News seems to determined to prove
as realities. What I find most sad is that the true conservative ideology
will win the hearts and minds of objective people if it is ever presented
in a fair and accurate light. We, conservatives, do not need our trumpets
blown by a bunch of ignoramuses and blow-hards who have barely the faintest
idea of what conservatism is really about. A genuinely "fair and balanced"
news agency will serve us, and the country, just fine.
-
- Perhaps some day we'll actually have it.
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- http://www.trueskeptic.com
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