- By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be
happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. --Socrates
-
- If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. --Chekhov
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- Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding
out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. --Oscar
Wilde
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- Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know
when to be mute.
-
- Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-
- Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.
-
- Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
-
- Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
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- Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry
one.
-
- Nuns: Women who marry god. If they divorce Him, do they
get half the universe?
-
- The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to
keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx
-
- We in the industry know that behind every successful
screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. --Groucho
Marx
-
- Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate
and buy her a house.
-
- I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like
getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers
to burn my toast for me. --Dick Martin
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- If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love
you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they'll leave
skid marks. --Rita Rudner
-
- My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came
home from work one day and found me in bed with her. --Lenny Bruce
-
-
- My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask
of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and
day.
-
- One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten:
give little, give seldom, and above all, give grudgingly. Otherwise, what
could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.
--Ruth Smythers, Marriage advice for women, 1894
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- There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time,
fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape
will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics
and war hold him in check. And the wife who wants him home by five, of
course. --Encyclopaedia Apocryphia
-
- Happy Vasectomy, Eric. Your loving wife and children:
Chris, Aida, George, Carol, Yolanda, Joan, Shirley, Susan, Anita, Aileen,
Jackie, Shelia, Bruce, Dean, Frank and Maxine. --Rolling Stone Classified
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