- More and more men are coming forward to admit they are
the victims of spousal abuse - but men's-rights advocates say the number
is still dramatically underreported. A 1998 Justice Department study -
the most recent on the subject - found that men account for 36 percent
of all victims of domestic violence.
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- But John Middleton, executive director of the Brooklyn-based
National Coalition for Men's Rights, says the number is higher and "growing
by leaps and bounds."
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- "It's the battered-man's syndrome - he works two
jobs, comes home, cleans the house, takes care of the kids on his day off,
while his wife beats him and goes shopping," said Middleton.
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- David Burroughs, chairman of the Forum for Equity and
Fairness in Family Issues in Fair Hill, Md., said, "Most men know
that if they hit their partner, she's likely to be injured and police may
be called."
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- "However, women know that if they hit their partner,
he's unlikely to be injured or to call for help, and the police are unlikely
to intervene. There's little deterrence."
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- George Courtney III, a 49-year-old environmental consultant
from Albany, said he suffered his wife's abuse.
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- "My wife would get worked up into a rage, and if
I didn't agree with her, she'd throw things - a glass, a clock - and slap
me. Occasionally I'd go into another room and lock the door, but that just
angered her even more. A couple of times she managed to bang the door down."
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- But the 6-foot-6 Courtney said he never thought of striking
back at his 5-foot-10 wife.
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- "I was always raised not to touch or hurt a woman,"
he said, adding that he was worried about the effects seeing his wife's
violence would have on the couple's two children, Justin and Brandon, now
7 and 9.
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- Three years ago, during divorce proceedings, he obtained
an order of protection against her. But while he successfully won joint
custody, he said most men aren't as lucky.
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- He recalled accompanying another abused husband to court
during a custody battle.
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- "He had an entry from his wife's diary where she
admitted trying to strangle him, and the judge dismissed that as immaterial
to the case," said Courtney.
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- Sari Freedman, a father's-rights lawyer in Garden City,
L.I., said men are at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to spousal-abuse
cases.
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- "Judges are automatically suspicious . . . because
they believe that these men are large enough to defend themselves,"
she said.
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- "When a woman comes in and claims abuse, the instinct
is to issue an order of protection because it's better to be safe than
sorry. But a man won't get these same privileges."
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- The National Coalition for Men's Rights has begun offering
classes for women.
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